Older People Have a more Satisfying Relationship than Younger Adults

golf old people GIF by MOST EXPENSIVEST

Age does matter in social relationships. It is assumed that older people experience more negative experiences in life compared to younger people because of loneliness and detachment from relatives and friends who are either sick, dead or migrated to distant places. Although it is generally true that older people, especially the retired and senior citizens, tend to have lesser reach in a social network, the quality of their relationships, however, tend to be more satisfying compared to younger ones.

twerk gif dancing GIF by Cheezburger

Age is connected with experience in life. Older people have more experience about the realities of life and thus more resilient than younger adults with limited experience and who are more prone to commit mistakes and encounter conflicts in social relationships. Younger people are usually facing disillusionment or discovery period in their marital or romantic commitments during young adulthood. But the older ones have already surpassed this transition period and have “gone through the storm” so to speak. After more than 10 or more years in marital or romantic adjustment, it is assumed that they are more or less stable in their relationships and accepting of the faults and limitations of their partners, as well as their respective circles of relatives and friends that directly affect their social interactions, than younger ones.

couple kiss GIF by VTM.be

The high satisfaction in social relationships among older adults is confirmed by a number of studies that showed that older people experienced more quality relationships than younger ones. Older adults reported greater satisfaction and fewer negative experiences in their social interactions than younger adults according to a study by Birditt & Fingerman in 2003.

old people olds GIF

Other studies also showed that older adults reported experiencing a greater intensity of positive emotions and less intense negative emotions with their close social partners than do younger adults. They also recalled that they derived greater support from their close social ties compared to younger ones. They confirmed that they have better quality ties with their children, more positive marriages and closer friendships (e.g. Rook, 1984, 2003). Thus, social support grows more positive with age (e.g. Field & Minkler, 1988).

Paul Trillo party people old on GIF

Finally, a study by the United States of Aging Survey found that “[m]ore than half of seniors (53 percent) nationally indicate that being close to friends and family is important.” It  revealed that “[e]ighty-four percent of seniors nationally cite technology as important to their ability to connect with the world around them.” It also showed that spending quality time with their children and grandchildren as very exciting:

  • “41 percent say seeing their children and grandchildren grow up is the most exciting prospect of living a longer life”
  • “One-fifth say spending time with friends and family will be the best part of their bonus years”
  • “18 percent say they are excited to have more time to do the things they enjoy”(https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/05-08-17-seniors-secret-to-happy-life/)

Thank you for reading this post! Feel free to comment, like, or follow this blog! Cheers and best wishes! Sign up for our newsletter for more updates or follow this blog via email. Thanks and cheers!

GIF credits: Giphy.com

Does Age Matter in a Romantic Relationship?

40D91FDF00000578-4545608-image-a-11_1495882036642

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter” (Mark Twain).

INTRODUCTION

The saying that “Age doesn’t matter” is a popular expression among people for those who fall in love with a wide age gap. They say that love is blind. So, it’s okay to be blind by the age of one’s crush or lover. Experts on romantic love acknowledge that falling in love is indeed a strong positive energy that makes a person less aware of the consequences of having a big age gap in the romantic relationship. One can be so enamored with the other person’s beauty, popularity, personality, social status, or wealth, that he or she forgets that the other person is either too old or too young for him/her! I already encountered some people who fell in love or even got married despite a wide age difference. When I was a boy, our 20-year old nanny was having a secret love affair with our 60-year old neighbor who was a widower with married children. It was indeed embarrassing during their wedding ceremony as the officiating priest had mistaken the groom as the parent of the bride and one of the young best men as the groom! Despite the age gap, they manage to have 3 children before the old man died.

AGE AS A SOCIAL NORM IN SOCIETY

Age really does matter in a relationship despite romanticism of some people that it doesn’t affect romantic relationships. In sociology, age is an informal and unwritten social norm. Society has some standards on what age bracket is appropriate for a particular type of relationship, depending on the local culture. Whether one likes it or not, society has a way of classifying people engaging a particular type of social interaction. Defying this informal norm in a romantic relationship can lead to unintended informal and psychological sanction from the public, such as ridicule, suspicion, rumor, gossip, digital bashing in the social media, or even public shaming by people who strongly oppose the relationship. Try to hold hands and show romantic affection with an older man or woman while walking in a public park and you’ll never miss seeing people whispering or giggling in disbelief, or staring at you as if something is terribly wrong, especially when you’re in a rural setting! Generally, women like their men to be a little older and more experienced and mature in life. But if the age gap is quite wide, many people would probably start to think that it is not romantic love or true love that motivates the attraction but something else, maybe the wealth of the older partner.

Age as an informal norm in society is not, however, an absolute rule! One can see couples with a big age difference. Among the Hollywood celebrities, the famous actor Michael Douglas and actress Catherine Zeta-Jones were married despite their age difference. These Oscar winners tied their knot in 2000 when Catherine was 31 years old and Michael was 56.

'Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps' Premiere

Michael, 56 years old, with wife Catherine, 31 (Photo credit: hollywood.com)

In the Philippines, the famous folk singer Freddie Aguilar fell in love with a 16-year old girl and managed to marry her in Islamic rites. Under the Shariah law, a 16-year old can contract a valid marriage but not under the current 1987 Family Code of the country for Christians. Apparently, both decided to change religion to tie the knot.

aguilar

Freddie, 60 years old, with his 16-year old wife (Photo credit: Poklat.com)

Another famous noontime TV host and comedian married a younger woman more than twice his age. The 61-year old veteran Filipino comedian Vic Sotto married the 27-year old TV host Pauleen Luna in a private wedding.

sotto

Pauleen Luna, 27 years old and Vic Sotto, 61 (Photo Credit: gmanetwork.com)

If it is not an arranged marriage sanctioned by culture, people can be suspicious of the motive if they see romantic couples with a wide age gap. They often suspect wealth and/or social status as the main motive why the younger partner “falls in love” with the older guy. This suspicion can have a grain of truth. Normally, people are first attracted to others through their physicality. People project and communicate to the world through their bodies. Appearance matters during the initial encounter of partners in romantic love. Many surveys showed that the person’s eyes as the sexiest or most attractive body part during infatuation. They say that the eyes are the window of the person’s soul. The woman’s big breasts and butts associated with femininity and fertility are also attractive to men, while a tall height, a flat and strong abdomen and chest are attractive physical traits for women. But old people generally cannot boast their physical assets to attract younger people to enter into a romantic relationship with them. Thus, people become cynical about seeing a young and old couple romantically linked with each other.

Physicality, however, can take a backseat if the young and old partners become intimate and learn more about the cultural or non-physical aspects of the relationship such as knowing the other’s attitude, personality, social status, and value system. So people can be suspicious if a poor young woman falls in love with an old rich man as the latter’s youthful physicality has already been deteriorated by age. If he is not extremely handsome and sexy despite his age, it is understandable for them to conclude that it is not the physical appearance but probably the person’s wealth and social status that motivate her to love the other. Age then matters in discerning whether the relationship is truly a romantic love that can lead to marital love or just what the sociologist Anthony Giddens calls as “confluent love” or a contingent form of love without commitment, a love that is based on mutual and temporal satisfaction of the romantic partners–“enjoying the relationship while it lasts.”

In the next blog, we’ll discuss why a wide age gap can be a problem in the interaction and adjustment of the couple as they stay longer in the romantic relationship and marriage. This will also show that age matters in romantic or marital interaction! Cheers!

 

 

Older People Have a more Satisfying Relationship than Younger Adults

backlit-bonding-casual-708392.jpg

Age does matter in social relationships. It is assumed that older people experience more negative experiences in life compared to younger people because of loneliness and detachment from relatives and friends who are either sick, dead, or migrated to distant places. Although it is generally true that older people, especially the retired and senior citizens, tend to have lesser reach in social network, the quality of their relationships, however, tend to be more satisfying compared to younger ones.

pexels-photo-1065707.jpeg

Age is connected with experience in life. Older people have more experience about the realities of life and thus more resilient than younger adults with limited experience and who are more prone to commit mistakes and encounter conflicts in social relationships. Younger people are usually facing disillusionment or discovery period in their marital or romantic commitments during young adulthood. But the older ones have already surpassed this transition period and have “gone through the storm” so to speak. After more than 10 or more years in marital or romantic adjustment, it is assumed that they are more or less stable in their relationships and accepting of the faults and limitations of their partners, as well as their respective circles of relatives and friends that directly affect their social interactions, than younger ones.

couple-elderly-man-34761.jpg

The high satisfaction in social relationships among older adults is confirmed by a number of studies that  showed that older people experienced more quality relationships than younger ones. Older adults reported greater satisfaction and fewer negative experiences in their social interactions than younger adults according to a study by Birditt & Fingerman in 2003.

people-mother-family-father.jpg

Other studies also showed that older adults reported experiencing a greater intensity of positive emotions and less intense negative emotions with their close social partners than do younger adults. They also recalled that they derived greater support from their close social ties compared to younger ones.They confirmed that they have better quality ties with their children, more positive marriages and closer friendships (e.g. Rook, 1984, 2003). Thus, social support grows more positive with age (e.g. Field & Minkler, 1988).

adult-affection-baby-302083 (1)

Finally, a study by the United States of Aging Survey found that “[m]ore than half of seniors (53 percent) nationally indicate that being close to friends and family is important.” It  revealed that “[e]ighty-four percent of seniors nationally cite technology as important to their ability to connect with the world around them.” It also showed that spending quality time with their children and grandchildren as very exciting:

  • “41 percent say seeing their children and grandchildren grow up is the most exciting prospect of living a longer life”
  • “One-fifth say spending time with friends and family will be the best part of their bonus years”
  • “18 percent say they are excited to have more time to do the things they enjoy”(https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/05-08-17-seniors-secret-to-happy-life/)

Thank you for reading this post! Feel free to comment, like, or follow this blog! Cheers and best wishes! Sign up for our newsletter for more updates or fallow this blog via email. Thanks and cheers!

Photo credit: Pexels.com free photos

Older People Have a more Satisfying Relationship than Younger Adults

backlit-bonding-casual-708392.jpg

Age does matter in social relationships. It is assumed that older people experience more negative experiences in life compared to younger people because of loneliness and detachment from relatives and friends who are either sick, dead, or migrated to distant places. Although it is generally true that older people, especially the retired and senior citizens, tend to have lesser reach in social network, the quality of their relationships, however, tend to be more satisfying compared to younger ones.

pexels-photo-1065707.jpeg

Age is connected with experience in life. Older people have more experience about the realities of life and thus more resilient than younger adults with limited experience and who are more prone to commit mistakes and encounter conflicts in social relationships. Younger people are usually facing disillusionment or discovery period in their marital or romantic commitments during young adulthood. But the older ones have already surpassed this transition period and have “gone through the storm” so to speak. After more than 10 or more years in marital or romantic adjustment, it is assumed that they are more or less stable in their relationships and accepting of the faults and limitations of their partners, as well as their respective circles of relatives and friends that directly affect their social interactions, than younger ones.

couple-elderly-man-34761.jpg

The high satisfaction in social relationships among older adults is confirmed by a number of studies that  showed that older people experienced more quality relationships than younger ones. Older adults reported greater satisfaction and fewer negative experiences in their social interactions than younger adults according to a study by Birditt & Fingerman in 2003.

people-mother-family-father.jpg

Other studies also showed that older adults reported experiencing a greater intensity of positive emotions and less intense negative emotions with their close social partners than do younger adults. They also recalled that they derived greater support from their close social ties compared to younger ones.They confirmed that they have better quality ties with their children, more positive marriages and closer friendships (e.g. Rook, 1984, 2003). Thus, social support grows more positive with age (e.g. Field & Minkler, 1988).

adult-affection-baby-302083 (1)

Finally, a study by the United States of Aging Survey found that “[m]ore than half of seniors (53 percent) nationally indicate that being close to friends and family is important.” It  revealed that “[e]ighty-four percent of seniors nationally cite technology as important to their ability to connect with the world around them.” It also showed that spending quality time with their children and grandchildren as very exciting:

  • “41 percent say seeing their children and grandchildren grow up is the most exciting prospect of living a longer life”
  • “One-fifth say spending time with friends and family will be the best part of their bonus years”
  • “18 percent say they are excited to have more time to do the things they enjoy”(https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/05-08-17-seniors-secret-to-happy-life/)

Thank you for reading this post! Feel free to comment, like, or follow this blog! Cheers and best wishes! Sign up for our newsletter for more updates or fallow this blog via email. Thanks and cheers!

Photo credit: Pexels.com free photos

Is Age Important in a Romantic Relationship?

engagement-2268947_640

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter” (Mark Twain).

INTRODUCTION

The saying that “Age doesn’t matter” is a popular expression among people for those who fall in love with a wide age gap. They say that love is blind. So, it’s okay to be blinded by the age of one’s crush or lover. Experts on romantic love acknowledge that falling in love is indeed a strong positive energy that makes a person less aware of the consequences of having a big age gap in romantic relationship. One can be so enamored with the other person’s beauty, popularity, personality, social status, or wealth, that he or she forgets that the other person is either too old or too young for him/her! I already encountered some people who fell in love or even got married despite a wide age difference. When I was a boy, our 20-year old nanny was having a secret love affair with our 60-year old neighbor who was a widower with married children. It was indeed embarrassing during their wedding ceremony as the officiating priest had mistaken the groom as the parent of the bride and one of the young best men as the groom! Despite the age gap, they manage to have 3 children before the old man died.

AGE AS A SOCIAL NORM IN SOCIETY

Age really does matter in relationship despite romanticism of some people that it doesn’t affect romantic relationships. In sociology, age is an informal and unwritten social norm. Society has some standards on what age bracket is appropriate for a particular type of relationship, depending on the local culture. Whether one likes it or not, society has a way of classifying people engaging a particular type of social interaction. Defying this informal norm in a romantic relationship can lead to unintended informal and psychological sanction from the public, such as ridicule, suspicion, rumor, gossip, digital bashing in the social media, or even public shaming by people who strongly oppose the relationship. Try to hold hands and show romantic affection with an older man or woman while walking in a public park and you’ll never miss seeing people whispering or giggling in disbelief, or staring at you as if something is terribly wrong, especially when you’re in a rural setting! Generally, women like their men to be a little older and more experienced and mature in life. But if the age gap is quite wide, many people would probably start to think that it is not romantic love or true love that motivates the attraction but something else, maybe the wealth of the older partner.

Age as informal norm in society is not, however, an absolute rule! One can see couples with a big age difference. Among the Hollywood celebrities, the famous actor Michael Douglas and actress Catherine Zeta-Jones were married despite their age difference. These Oscar winners tied their knot in 2000, when Catherine was 31 years old and Michael was 56.

'Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps' Premiere

Michael, 56 years old, with wife Catherine, 31 (Photo credit: hollywood.com)

In the Philippines, the famous folk singer Freddie Aguilar fell in love with a 16-year old girl and managed to marry her in Islamic rites. Under the Shariah law, a 16-year old can contract a valid marriage but not under the current 1987 Family Code of the country for Christians. Apparently both decided to change religion to tie the knot.

aguilar

Freddie, 60 years old, with his 16-year old wife (Photo credit: Poklat.com)

Another famous noontime TV host and comedian married a younger woman more than twice his age. The 61-year old veteran Filipino comedian Vic Sotto married the 27-year old TV host Pauleen Luna in a private wedding.

sotto

Pauleen Luna, 27 years old and Vic Sotto, 61 (Photo Credit: gmanetwork.com)

If it is not an arranged marriage sanctioned by culture, people can be suspicious of the motive if they see romantic couples with a wide age gap. They often suspect wealth and/or social status as the main motive why the younger partner “falls in love” with the older guy. This suspicion can have a grain of truth. Normally, people are first attracted to others through their physicality. People project and communicate to the world though their bodies. Appearance matters during the initial encounter of partners in romantic love. Many surveys showed that the person’s eyes as the sexiest or most attractive body part during infatuation. They say that the eyes is the window of the person’s soul. The woman’s big breasts and butts associated with femininity and fertility are also attractive to men, while a tall height, a flat and strong abdomen and chest are attractive physical traits for women. But old people generally cannot boast their physical assets to attract younger people to enter into a romantic relationship with them. Thus, people become cynical of seeing a young and old couple romantically linked with each other.

Physicality, however, can take a backseat if the young and old partners become intimate and learn more about the cultural or non-physical aspects of the relationship such as knowing the other’s attitude, personality, social status, and value system. So people can be suspicious if a poor young woman falls in love with an old rich man as the latter’s youthful physicality has already been deteriorated by age. If he is not extremely handsome and sexy despite his age, it is understandable for them to conclude that it is not the physical appearance but probably the person’s wealth and social status that motivate her to love the other. Age then matters in discerning whether the relationship is truly a romantic love that can lead to marital love or just what the sociologist Anthony Giddens calls as “confluent love” or a contingent form of love without commitment, a love that is based on mutual and temporal satisfaction of the romantic partners–“enjoying the relationship while it lasts.”

Photo credit of Header Photo: Pixabay.com