How to Deal with Love, Romance, and Dating: A Concise Sociological and Practical Guide

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH LOVE, ROMANCE, COURTSHIP, AND DATING: A Concise Sociological and Practical Guide by [Ballano, Vivencio]

(Available at Amazon.com at USD 4.99 as Kindle eBook)

Book Description:

This book is a concise sociological and practical guide with illustrations on how to deal with love, romance, courtship, and dating. It provides some sociological and empirical insights and practical tips that can help lovers, romantics, and couples in understanding the nature of the complex realities of infatuation, romance, unhealthy relationship, courtship, dating, and true love. It has four parts. The first part explains the dynamics of falling in love, romantic attraction, and compatibility in finding a partner using the social science perspective, particularly that of sociology. It aims to distinguish true love from infatuation. It also explores the physical and cultural factors that make people fall in love. The second part examines the nature of courtship: The role of men and women in courtship, some effective strategies in courtship, and the major factors that determine compatibility in courtship. The third part examines the different forms of “unhealthy” or unconventional love and relationship. It provides some signs and indicators if the relationship is abusive or cooling off. The last part deals with the cultural and social aspect of dating. It explores some do’s and don’t’s in dating: What satisfies or turns off people on a date and how to handle them. It is hoped that through this book, the reader will become more empirical, critical, and realistic in dealing with romantic relationship, courtship, and dating, and thus become more mature individuals in society.

How to Deal with Love, Romance, and Dating

 

8 Biggest Turn Offs for Women in a Date

interested water bottle GIF

The following are some of the biggest turn offs for women in a date. Men must avoid these actions and traits when having a formal or informal date with a lady. A turned off girl would probably tell her partner the following observations:

1.You Lack  Confidence, Boy! Your Body Language will Show it.

d&d love GIF by Hyper RPG

Insecure personality as shown in the guy’s body language is a big turn off for women in a date.  If you’re not confident about yourself or are feeling nervous during your dinner-date, your female partner will notice it. This is one of the biggest reasons why guys get spurned on a date. Women usually look for guys who are confident, secure, and ready to protect them. How can a nervous guy assure a woman that he can be dependable and reliable if he himself lacks self-confidence?

2. Oh, Boy! You look Cheap in Your Own Date When You Don’t Have To Be!

dinner GIF

First impression counts in your first date. Prepare for it, including your budget. Make sure you have enough money to bring your girl to an expensive dinner-date! Your date will result in a big turn off if she noticed that you trying to save money and thus look cheap! The following actions are some of the biggest turn offs for women:

“#1: Order the cheapest thing on the menu, and make a joke if his date orders something more expensive. Even if you’re kidding, this makes her feel hugely unappreciated.

#2: Ask to split the bill, when he’s the one who asked her out. Look, ‘don’t go Dutch’ is a  a core rule of manliness. If you ask her out, you pay. It’s just polite.

#3: Bring a bottle of wine to a party, and take the leftover wine home. I’m not even going to explain this one…”(Sutherns).

3. You Have a Bad (Or Overpowering) Scent, Boy!

gwen stefani omg GIF

Some advice to avoid a bad or overpowering smell:

Step #1: Use antiperspirant, instead of just deodorant. Deodorant only attempts to block bad odors… while antiperspirant stops sweating altogether.

Step #2: Brush your teeth well every day, instead of just intensely brushing right before a date. Bad breath germs can live in your mouth/throat and can even grow … so wipe them out regularly by brushing on a schedule.

Step #3: Choose the right cologne (and use a max of two sprays). Some cologne are more powerful than others, so get one that’s long-lasting, and tone down the amount of sprays (one spray on both your chest and neck are ideal).

4. You Accidentally Make Yourself the Focus of Your Date!

adam devine workaholics GIF

“There’s a distinct line (a timeline, actually) between being expressive (what girls want)and being too informative (what they don’t want). Being expressive means telling her that you like her, being honest when something’s bothering you, etc.…but being too informative means talking about things that are way too personal/serious too soon (when she’s not ready to hear them…)” (Sutherns).

5. You are a Boring Guy!

gigolo love GIF

A boring guy is another big turn off for women. Women  like dating partners who are entertaining with a strong sense of humor, making the date worthwhile. All girls and guys have experienced this at some point in their lives. Try to sit next to a guy, and his conversations were so boring that you would rather jump off a cliff.

6. You’re a Narcissist Dating Partner!

dating date GIF by The Hills

A self-centered guy who cares more about himself than his date is a big turn off for women. Any guy who spends more time in front of the mirror than his own girlfriend is a huge turn off. Also, if you’re having dinner with your date, and the waiter accidentally spills a bit of juice on your silk shirt, wipe it away like a man. Don’t whine about how your silk shirt is ruined and behave like a drama queen.

7. You Act Like You Know it all, Boy!

sexy youtube GIF by Hyper RPG

Don’t talk as if you know all the answers to all the questions of your female partner. Nothing is worse than you acting like a dude who’s too self-absorbed with your own self and forget to notice that you partner exists. Talk less and listen more to your date. Make her feel that she is important and special during your date.

 8. You’re not Following Her Through, Boy!

food coma sleeping GIF by The Grinder

Women like persistent men. After the date, women expect their men to make a follow after the first encounter. They like men who pursue them. An inconsistent guy is a biggest loser and turn off for women.

GIF Credit: Giphy.com

References

Patterson, E. (n.d.). The 10 Biggest Dating Turn Offs for Women. Retrieved from https://www.lovepanky.com/men/understanding-women/10-dating-turn-offs-for-women.

Sutherns, R. (n.d.). “7 Big Things that Turn Women Off [From Her]”. Retrieved from https://www.mantelligence.com/surprising-things-that-turn-women-off/.

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6 Top Signs a Guy Isn’t Interested in You Anymore

boyfriend GIF

1. He Stops Texting or Calling You.

texting GIF

If your boyfriend stops calling or texting you regularly the way he used to do, then his interest in your relationship has gone cold. A guy who truly loves you will always find ways to contact you no matter how busy he is with his job or work.

2. He Flirts with Other Women In Front Of You

mad Sports bar GIF by Originals

Flirting with other women in front of you is a sure sign that he has lost interest in you, or he is indeed a playboy who is incapable of bringing you to the altar. Why would he flirt with other women if he is really serious in your relationship and intending to marry you in the future?

3. His Body Language Changes Around You

tv land flirt GIF by #Impastor

“When a guy likes you, he might not say so directly, but his body language will. He’ll lean towards you to build intimacy, face his body towards you in group situations, and find reasons to touch your shoulder or arm (like when he makes you laugh)” (Bastion).

If your boyfriend is no longer as sweet and caring as he used to be, then he probably lost his interest in you. It’s a sign that you need to move on and find another suitable partner.

4. He Doesn’t Pay Attention Like He Used To

boyfriend GIF

Romantic relationships call for intimacy and mutual care on a regular basis. This entails every partner to provide special attention to your loved one. If your boyfriend is no longer giving you the special attention he used to give you when you started the relationship, then it’s a sign that he is no longer interested in you. Watch out for inconsistencies of what he says and what he does. If he says that “I will never, ever love somebody more than I love you” but starts to take you for granted, then it’s time to find another guy until you’ll find your match and get engaged.

5. You Always Have To Text And Call Him First

You will know that your man is no longer interested in you always have to text and call him instead he taking the initiative to contact you. In this case, he may be busy with other things or maybe having other relationships with other girls. A guy who is truly in love with you would make sure to contact you no matter how busy he is! A change in pattern in your communication is the biggest sign that he is gradually abandoning you!

text oops GIF

6. He Doesn’t Get Jealous If You Mention Seeing Someone

high five rejected GIF by CBC

Jealousy is not always a negative reaction. Being jealous can be just a way to guard the exclusive relationship from intruders. If your boyfriend is jealous when you mention that you’re seeing someone is just a normal reaction and a precaution for him that you might get tempted to entertain other relationship. A Romantic relationship is basically dyad or pair with 2 people falling in love, not triad or any form of polygamous union. So, if your guy is not jealous even if you mentioned the positive traits of the person you met, then this can be a sign that he doesn’t care because he loses interest in your relationship.

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

Reference

Bastion, N. (n.d.). “The Top 10 Signs a Guy Ins’t Interested in You Anymore”. Retrieved http://www.vixendaily.com/love/top-10-signs-a-guy-isnt-interested-in-you-anymore/

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8 Biggest Turn Offs for Women in a Date

interested water bottle GIF

The following are some of the biggest turn offs for women in a date. Men must avoid these actions and traits when having a formal or informal date with a lady. A turned off girl would probably tell her partner the following observations:

1.You Lack  Confidence, Boy! Your Body Language will Show it.

d&d love GIF by Hyper RPG

Insecure personality as shown in the guy’s body language is a big turn off for women in a date.  If you’re not confident about yourself or are feeling nervous during your dinner-date, your female partner will notice it. This is one of the biggest reasons why guys get spurned on a date. Women usually look for guys who are confident, secure, and ready to protect them. How can a nervous guy assure a woman that he can be dependable and reliable if he himself lacks self-confidence?

2. Oh, Boy! You look Cheap in Your Own Date When You Don’t Have To Be!

dinner GIF

First impression counts in your first date. Prepare for it, including your budget. Make sure you have enough money to bring your girl to an expensive dinner-date! Your date will result in a big turn off if she noticed that you trying to save money and thus look cheap! The following actions are some of the biggest turn offs for women:

“#1: Order the cheapest thing on the menu, and make a joke if his date orders something more expensive. Even if you’re kidding, this makes her feel hugely unappreciated.

#2: Ask to split the bill, when he’s the one who asked her out. Look, ‘don’t go Dutch’ is a  a core rule of manliness. If you ask her out, you pay. It’s just polite.

#3: Bring a bottle of wine to a party, and take the leftover wine home. I’m not even going to explain this one…”(Sutherns).

3. You Have a Bad (Or Overpowering) Scent, Boy!

gwen stefani omg GIF

Some advice to avoid a bad or overpowering smell:

Step #1: Use antiperspirant, instead of just deodorant. Deodorant only attempts to block bad odors… while antiperspirant stops sweating altogether.

Step #2: Brush your teeth well every day, instead of just intensely brushing right before a date. Bad breath germs can live in your mouth/throat and can even grow … so wipe them out regularly by brushing on a schedule.

Step #3: Choose the right cologne (and use a max of two sprays). Some cologne are more powerful than others, so get one that’s long-lasting, and tone down the amount of sprays (one spray on both your chest and neck are ideal).

4. You Accidentally Make Yourself the Focus of Your Date!

adam devine workaholics GIF

“There’s a distinct line (a timeline, actually) between being expressive (what girls want)and being too informative (what they don’t want). Being expressive means telling her that you like her, being honest when something’s bothering you, etc.…but being too informative means talking about things that are way too personal/serious too soon (when she’s not ready to hear them…)” (Sutherns).

5. You are a Boring Guy!

gigolo love GIF

A boring guy is another big turn off for women. Women  like dating partners who are entertaining with a strong sense of humor, making the date worthwhile. All girls and guys have experienced this at some point in their lives. Try to sit next to a guy, and his conversations were so boring that you would rather jump off a cliff.

6. You’re a Narcissist Dating Partner!

dating date GIF by The Hills

A self-centered guy who cares more about himself than his date is a big turn off for women. Any guy who spends more time in front of the mirror than his own girlfriend is a huge turn off. Also, if you’re having dinner with your date, and the waiter accidentally spills a bit of juice on your silk shirt, wipe it away like a man. Don’t whine about how your silk shirt is ruined and behave like a drama queen.

7. You Act Like You Know it all, Boy!

sexy youtube GIF by Hyper RPG

Don’t talk as if you know all the answers to all the questions of your female partner. Nothing is worse than you acting like a dude who’s too self-absorbed with your own self and forget to notice that you partner exists. Talk less and listen more to your date. Make her feel that she is important and special during your date.

 8. You’re not Following Her Through, Boy!

food coma sleeping GIF by The Grinder

Women like persistent men. After the date, women expect their men to make a follow after the first encounter. They like men who pursue them. An inconsistent guy is a biggest loser and turn off for women.

GIF Credit: Giphy.com

References

Patterson, E. (n.d.). The 10 Biggest Dating Turn Offs for Women. Retrieved from https://www.lovepanky.com/men/understanding-women/10-dating-turn-offs-for-women.

Sutherns, R. (n.d.). “7 Big Things that Turn Women Off [From Her]”. Retrieved from https://www.mantelligence.com/surprising-things-that-turn-women-off/.

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4 Top Determinants in Choosing a Partner in a Date

the lady and the tramp kiss GIF by HULU

What do people look for when they want to choose a partner in a date?

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The factors that determine people what to look for from people they want to go out in a date are usually cultural. Each culture has its own set of expectation and criteria of what constitutes an ideal date and date partners. But the following factors seem to be popular among people living in urban societies based on some research studies.

Do you also consider some of these as significant in choosing your partner in a date?

angelina jolie love GIF

1. Physical Attractiveness

Although social factors can influence the choice of partners in a dating, physical attractiveness of the partner still remains an important determinant in dating (Spreadbury and Reeves, 1979). This idea of physical attractiveness as a determinant of dating progress is shown to be strong in both casual and serious daters (White 1980).  There is something interesting that should be noted about this study, however, because the findings suggest that it is a similarity of attractiveness that plays a larger role in how long a couple continues in a relationship.

Research supports the idea that both genders value physical attractiveness to a certain degree (especially within short-term contexts), but males may have more incentive for pursuing a woman they perceive as beautiful, even for the long-term.  According to this evolutionary imperative, men may highly value physical attractiveness in a female because it serves as a truthful indicator of health and fertility (Eastwick, 2008).

2. Financial Prospects

seeta aur geeta bollywood GIF

Women do not only value physical attractiveness of their male partners but also their financial prospects in the long run as they are expected be better equipped to provide for both his partner and subsequent offspring.

pay me make it rain GIF by HelloGiggles

Females had much stronger preferences towards “financial management, ambition, and industriousness, higher education, desire for children, high intelligence and capacity for parenting” (Williamson, 1965).

3. Proximity in Age

jim halpert love GIF

Age does matter in dating. Unless a person is just looking for financial support from a rich individual, the age gap between dating partners is important in society. Most research studies reveal that proximity in age between dating partners is important. One partner must not be very old or young compared to the other. Their age must either be similar or proximate. People can easily notice a gap when partners show affection in a public date. Signs of informal disapproval can be seen in their facial expressions when seeing a couple with a big age gap.

4. Social Desirability

black tie yes GIF by T.I.

Individuals who are themselves very socially desirable (physically attractive, personable, or possessing great material assets) will require that an appropriate partner will possess more social desirability than will a less socially desirable individual. If couples with different social desirability in a situation, couples with similar desirability will most likely date with one another (Walster et al, 1966).

Women Want More!

money asks GIF

Women are even more demanding than men with their dating partners. Aside from social desirability, they have much stronger preferences towards partners who demonstrate “financial management, ambition, and industriousness, higher education, desire for children, high intelligence and capacity for parenting” (Williamson, 1965).

make it rain money GIFmake it rain money GIF

Because of women’s expectation of their partners’ financial security,  men tend to postpone their marriage just to achieve first a middle-class social status. Dating and Courtship Patterns, Some Explorations, by Harold E. Smith, for instance, suggests that “owing to the needs of men to achieve some economic prosperity first, males more often than females in courtship postpone matrimony.”

Photo credit: Pexels.com, Pixabay.com

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