9 Top Signs Your Boyfriend is a Playboy

love actually dance GIF

1. He is usually a good-looking man.

sexy jensen ackles GIF

Cheers! You’ve got a man that you can be proud of to your friends in terms of looks and sociability! Playboys are usually good-looking and sociable human beings. But they can’t be reliable in terms of fidelity and commitment. If your boyfriend is a playboy and an expert in the game of love, he is not only charming to you but also to others.  He always wants to be on top of his game. That is why he is always conscious about his appearance, physical shape, and demeanor. Since women generally like men who are confident, he is usually slow in movements and actions, always a gentleman to impress you that he is the man you’re looking for! But things are not what they seem! If you’re looking for a man who dates you in the altar, then a playboy is not the Mr. Right for you! Move on and find another man!

2. He’s evasive and mysterious.

gossip girl love GIF

Your relationship with him is not constant or solid. Actually, he is always mysterious about personal things. You would rarely have him tell you about his dreams, aspirations or insecurities. They are just protective about personal data. He wouldn’t want you to use these things against him at some point. Playboys are always hiding something but they tend to master the art of deception. So do a background check of the person you are dating!

3. His words do not match his actions.

matt bomer GIF

A playboy boyfriend is good at giving promises to his girlfriends. He is eloquent and usually a master of the art of persuasion. He can play with words. He says one thing and does another thing. He makes promises he cannot keep. He is more about calming your feelings for the moment rather than acting to making sure you are secure.

4. He doesn’t make contact when he’s away.

sad chloe grace moretz GIF

A playboy usually has other relationships. So he cannot devote his entire attention to one girl or partner.  If he’s out of town for three days or three weeks he would usually avoid contacting you as his girlfriend. As soon as he comes back, though, best believe you’ll be the first person he hits up, saying sorry and coming up with ‘I had network problems’ excuses – or my personal favorite, ‘My battery died’. So, wherever you were, no-one had a phone charger?

5. He will tell you he’s not like others.

i dont know what to say nick viall GIF by The Bachelor

A testimony about one’s self is actually self-serving. Don’t immediately believe him. A playboy boyfriend is usually good at blaming others but not himself. It’s important to him that you believe him when he says he’s not like the others. He will even get ‘hurt’ when you accuse him of being just like everyone else.

6. He has other relationships.

happy selena gomez GIF

Boy! Playboys are not satisfied with one girl and one relationship. They are not born to be like this, though. They are probably influenced by their own fathers, relatives, and friends who are womanizers and who do not respect women’s dignity by sticking to one partner. He cannot commit to you as your boyfriend and promise you marriage because his attention is divided with other girls. But take note that playboys are good at hiding his other relationships. He deletes videos and text messaging that can incriminate him!

photo sleeping GIF

7. He often talks about sex in your relationship.

would you be my girlfriend 90s GIF

Since playboys are only after sex, they have no capacity to go beyond the physical and the material. They have no intention of marrying you. Their conversations are usually full of sexual innuendos indicating their state of mind. They can be handsy, touching your body when in public and private places. Run away from him and find a suitable partner!

8. He’s not willing to show you to his friends and family.

 girl rose romantic date asking out GIF

Playboys are not fond of introducing their “collection” of girls to their families, relatives, and friends. If your boyfriend is not introducing you to his family, close relatives, and friends, he is probably a playboy. He is not interested in establishing a long-term commitment with you in marriage. Remember that marriage of two people is also a union of two families and their network of relatives and friends. If he is keeping you away from his family and relatives, he’s probably thinking only of a short-term relationship with you and may only be thinking of having sex with you! He’s in a hurry. If this is the case, start looking for another guy worthy of your love!

9. He’s not clear about the relationship.

mtv dating GIF by The Hills

The relationship can be vague and mysterious. Veteran playboys do not want a long-term relationship that can lead to marriage. He only wants a temporary relationship. He never gives you every detail about his whereabouts or what he is up to when he is not with you. He has no clear plans for the future. He just wants an erotic relationship with you. Playboys are certified womanizers. Thus, run away from your playboy-boyfriend and find a more honest and sincere man who wants to marry you in the future.

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

References

Cosmo (n.d.) 5 signs You’re Dating a Playboy. Cosmopolitan. Retrieved from https://www.cosmopolitan.co.za/sex-relationships/5-signs-youre-dating-playboy/.

Imafidon, C. (n.d.). 13 Things Only Girls Who Date A Playboy Would Know. Lifehack.org. https://www.lifehack.org/324408/13-things-only-girls-who-date-playboy-would-know.

 

 

The Latent Message of Bruno Mars’ “Versace on the Floor”

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“Versace on the Floor” 
By: Bruno Mars
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Let’s take our time tonight, girl
Above us all the stars are watchin’
There’s no place I’d rather be in this world
Your eyes are where I’m lost in
Underneath the chandelier
We’re dancin’ all alone
There’s no reason to hide
What we’re feelin’ inside
Right now
chandelier GIF
So baby let’s just turn down the lights
And close the door
Ooh I love that dress
But you won’t need it anymore
No you won’t need it no more
Let’s just kiss ’til we’re naked, baby
ryan gosling kiss GIF
Versace on the floor
Ooh take it off for me, for me, for me, for me now, girl
Versace on the floor
Ooh take it off for me, for me, for me, for me now, girl, mmm
I unzip the back to watch it fall
While I kiss your neck and shoulders
No don’t be afraid to show it all
I’ll be right here ready to hold you
Girl you[1]
Love can mean different things to different people. There are different types of love. It can be  based on eros or erotic and sexual love, filia, or fraternal love, and agape or self-giving and selfless love.
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But the mega hit song “Versace on the Floor” of Bruno Mars  is suggesting something that cannot simply be categorized into any of the above classical classification of love. I think his song is suggesting of a different type of love that is more than just erotic love. This is the type of love that is emerging in our current technological and globalized age. It’s what the sociologist Anthony Giddens calls as “confluent love.”
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The lyrics of the song seems to suggest this kind of love that emphasizes the contingent bliss of being together in the dancing floor underneath the chandelier–that the lovers just enjoy the moment, no worries about rules, morality or commitment to enter into marriage: “Let’s just kiss ’til we’re naked, baby”
What is Confluent Love?

Confluent love is the most popular type of  union in  today’s globalizing world that is characterized by flows, flexibility, and “liquidity” of information and migration of people around the globe. The current postmodern society prefers anything contingent or passing, or relationships without lasting or long-term commitment. Confluent love flourishes in this type of environment. It is, therefore, unsurprising to see divorce, annulment, and legal separation, cohabitation, and marital infidelity increasing in today’s global society.

Unlike romantic love, confluent love has no commitment to last until death or to enter into marriage. It is passing and it is good while it lasts for partners.

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Confluent love is a type of romantic relationship which is attuned to the present postmodern times. In his book, “The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love and Eroticism in Modern Societies,” the British sociologist Anthony Giddens (1992) describes confluent love as a type of love which is based on pure relationship. And  pure relationship is a “social relation…entered into for its own sake; and which is continued only in so far as it is thought by both parties to deliver enough satisfaction for each individual to stay within it” (Cornville & Rogers, 1998, p. 97).

‘Unlike romantic love, confluent love is not necessarily exclusive. What holds the pure relationship together is the acceptance on the part of each partner, ‘until further notice’, that each gains sufficient benefit from the relation to make its continuance worthwhile (Giddens, 2011). Romantic love is a type of relationship which is often viewed as ‘forever after’ monogamous love. This type of love prepares people for the lifelong commitment of marital love after courtship and engagement.

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Confluent love is different from romantic or marital love. In consensual love, the partners agree to have sexual relations with others whom they have no intention of marrying or, if they marry, do not necessarily see the marriage as having permanence (Kendal, 2014). The essence of confluent love is its contingency. It is not a “till-death-do-us-part” kind of relationship. It lasts as long as the lovers find the relationship mutually fulfilling. Thus, a one-night stand, a regular orgy of couples, or a temporary live-in arrangement or cohabitation with no intention of marrying, are some expressions of confluent love.

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Confluent love is now becoming popular to millennials and post-millennials. On the one hand, the millennials  are those who belong to Generation Y or the generational demographic cohort following Generation X. There are no exact dates for when this cohort starts or ends. But many demographers typically use the early 1980s as starting birth years and the mid-1990s to early 2000s as ending birth years for people to be called millennials.
The post-millennials, on the other hand, are those who are born from the early 2000s up to the present.
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The emergence of confluent today is a great challenge to different churches and religions that believe that love and sex are sacred and must be guarded by the rules of ethics and morality.
Photo credit: Pixabay.com, Pexels.com
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Globalization of Love: Benefits & Risks of Online Dating

green love you Sticker by AnimatedText

BENEFITS

Many people today turn to the Internet and navigate in the cyber space to find their romantic partners. The Internet offers benefits in online dating. With the advent of globalization, digital technology, and the cyber space, people all over  can easily look for partners around the globe through various dating sites. Traditionally, before the invention of the Internet in the late 1980’s, people’s choice of finding their romantic partners is limited by physical distance and spatio-temporal space. Thus, they search for partners who are proximate to them in their school, office, neighborhood, or organization. But with the current worldwide web and numerous dating sites, they can now look for partners worldwide. Online dating has its own benefits and risks, though.

1. Cheaper

dating flirting GIF by GIPHY Studios Originals

To find a romantic partner through online dating sites is much cheaper than face-to-face dating encounters. Since there are many free dating sites, one can easily join their social network and start finding a romantic partner. One only needs a  gadget  and an Internet connection. In online dating, the guy does not spend a penny just to talk to his dating partner, no coffee or dinner date.

2. Convenient

A person who search for a partner online can immediately focus on people with similar, beliefs, age and other important criteria without having to spend time and money for a date. Non-matching people can easily be sidestepped without ever needing to make contact. Online dating is a “partner shopping” in a global supermarket of humanity (Healthyplace.com).

excited schitts creek GIF by CBC

3. Easy Access & Higher Chance of Finding a Match

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In online dating, potential partners can easily access  many potential partners than they could often find in face-to-face interaction. This is especially true for individuals interested in partners of a particular type, orientation, lifestyle, or in isolated areas (Nicholeson, 20 April 2014).

Many online dating sites offer various types of personality testing and matching. Such matching can help guide individuals toward dating partners who may be more compatible (Ibid).

Risks

1. Scamming

scamming joanne the scammer GIF by Super Deluxe

Often in the form of an odd financial request, the scammer will spend a few weeks talking to a target in order to gain their trust, then, seemingly out of the blue the victim will receive a request for financial aid due to some outlandish set of circumstances that has befallen their new friend.

2. Catfishing/ Misrepresentation 

pretending music video GIF by DallasK

The term catfishing refers to the practice of creating a fake online identity or profile in order to pursue one or multiple online relationships. While this is a less common occurrence on the more sinister end of the spectrum, as it turns out, everybody lies; according to a 2007 survey The Truth about Lying in Online Dating Profiles 81% of online dater’s lie about characteristics such as height, figure and age.

sad pretty little liars GIF

3. Identity Theft 

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Age old advice, be careful what you put online. NEVER post your address on your profile as this can lead to a whole host of problems beyond identity theft such as stalking and harassment.

Online Dating websites require a lot of personal and financial information in order to set up an account so ensure you have an up to date Internet Security software package installed to safeguard yourself from viruses and hacking.

Rewire.org pbs online dating rewire GIF

 

References

Nicholson,J. (30 April 2014). Pros and Cons of Online Dating: When and How to Date Online. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201404/pros-and-cons-online-dating.

Notorn Team (n.d.). “Is Online Dating for you? The risks and benefits of searching for love online”. Norton UKBlog. Retrieved from https://uk.norton.com/norton-blog/2016/05/is_online_datingfor0.html.

Healthyplace.com (n.d.). “Advantages and Disadvantages of Online Dating”. Retrieved from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/online-relationships/the-advantages-and-disadvantages-of-online-dating

 

9 Top Signs Your Boyfriend is a Playboy

love actually dance GIF

1. He is usually a good-looking man.

sexy jensen ackles GIF

Cheers! You’ve got a man that you can be proud of to your friends in terms of looks and sociability! Playboys are usually good-looking and sociable human beings. But they can’t be reliable in terms of fidelity and commitment. If your boyfriend is a playboy and an expert in the game of love, he is not only charming to you but also to others.  He always want to be on top of his game. That is why he is always conscious about his appearance, physical shape, and demeanor. Since women generally like men who are confident, he is usually slow in movements and actions, always a gentleman to impress you that he is the man you’re looking for! But things are not what they seem! If you’re looking for a man who date you in the altar, then a playboy is not the Mr. Right for you! Move on and find another man!

2. He’s evasive and mysterious.

gossip girl love GIF

Your relationship with him is not constant or solid. Actually he is always mysterious about personal things. You would rarely have him tell you about his dreams, aspirations or insecurities. They are just protective about personal data. He wouldn’t want you to use these things against him at some point. Playboys are always hiding something but they tend to master the art of deception. So do a background check of the person you are dating!

3. His words do not match his actions.

matt bomer GIF

A playboy boyfriend is good at giving promises to his girlfriends. He is eloquent and usually a master of the art of persuasion. He can play with words. He says one thing and does another thing. He makes promises he cannot keep. In fact he is more about calming your feelings for the moment rather than acting to making sure you are secure.

4. He doesn’t make contact when he’s away.

sad chloe grace moretz GIF

A playboy usually has other relationships. So he cannot devote his entire attention to one girl or partner.  If he’s out of town for three days or three weeks he would usually avoid contacting you as his girlfriend. As soon as he comes back, though, best believe you’ll be the first person he hits up, saying sorry and coming up with ‘I had network problems’ excuses – or my personal favorite, ‘My battery died’. So, wherever you were, no-one had a phone charger?

5. He will tell you he’s not like others.

i dont know what to say nick viall GIF by The Bachelor

A testimony about one’s self is actually self-serving. Don’t immediately believe him. A playboy boyfriend is usually good at blaming others but not himself. It’s important to him that you believe him when he says he’s not like the others. He will even get ‘hurt’ when you accuse him of being just like everyone else.

6. He has other relationships.

happy selena gomez GIF

Boy! Playboys are not satisfied with one girl and one relationship. They are not born to be like this, though. They are probably influenced by their own fathers, relatives, and friends who are womanizers and who do not respect women’s dignity by sticking to one partner. He cannot commit to you as your boyfriend and promise you marriage because his attention is divided with other girls. But take note that playboys are good at hiding his other relationships. He deletes videos and text messaging that can incriminate him!

photo sleeping GIF

7. He often talks about sex in your relationship.

would you be my girlfriend 90s GIF

Since playboys are only after sex, they have no capacity to go beyond the physical and the material. They have no intention of marrying you. Their conversations are usually full of sexual innuendos that reflect they state of mind. They can be handsy, touching your body when in public and private places. Run away from him and find a suitable partner!

8. He’s not willing to show you to his friends and family.

 girl rose romantic date asking out GIF

Playboys are not fond of introducing their “collection” of girls to their families, relatives and friends. If your boyfriend is not introducing you to his family, close relatives, and friends, he is probably a playboy. He is not interested of establishing a long-term commitment with you in marriage. Remember that marriage of two people is also a union of two families and their network of relatives and friends. If he is keeping you away from his family and relatives, he’s probably thinking only of a short-term relationship with you and may only be thinking of having sex with you! He’s in a hurry. If this is the case, start looking for another guy worthy of your love!

9. He’s not clear about the relationship.

mtv dating GIF by The Hills

The relationship can be vague and mysterious. Veteran playboys do not want a long-term relationship that can lead to marriage. He only wants temporary relationship. He never gives you every detail about his whereabouts or what he is up to when he is not with you. He has no clear plans of the future. He just wants erotic relationship with you. Playboys are certified womanizers. Thus, run away from your playboy-boyfriend and find a more honest and sincere man who wants to marry you in the future.

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

References

Cosmo (n.d.) 5 signs You’re Dating a Playboy. Cosmopolitan. Retrieved from https://www.cosmopolitan.co.za/sex-relationships/5-signs-youre-dating-playboy/.

Imafidon, C. (n.d.). 13 Things Only Girls Who Date A Playboy Would Know. Lifehack.org. https://www.lifehack.org/324408/13-things-only-girls-who-date-playboy-would-know.

The Birth of Romantic Love in Society

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The idea of romantic love and falling in love before marriage started to become a popular trend and practice in Western industrialized societies only in the late eighteenth century with the rise of modernity in Europe. During the Middle Ages, virtually no one married for love. There was, in fact, a medieval saying that “To love one’s wife with one’s emotion is adultery.” People entered into marriage, during this period, primarily to keep property in the hands of the family and to raise children to work in the family farm (Giddens and Girffiths, 2006, p.205).

in love romance GIF by Hallmark Channel

The concept of courtly love, a medieval European concept of nobile and chivalrous love, generally secret and between members of the nobility, precipitated the rise of romantic love in the 19th century. “Chevaliers, or knights in the Middle Ages, engaged in what were usually non-physical and non-marital relationships with women of nobility of whom they served.”

is this really happening in love GIF by Hallmark Channel

The birth of romantic love coincided more or less with the emergence of the novel as a literary form, and the spread of romantic novels. Love stories in romantic novels played a vital role of popularizing the idea of romantic love (Radway in Giddens and Griffiths, p. 205).  The term “romantic love” is said to have been coined only in the 19th century by the literary critic Gaston Paris to denote a particular constellation of attitudes and patterns of behavior that characterized a body of literature arising in Provence in the 12th century (Paris, 1983 cited in Karandashev, 2015, p.4).

central park eric GIF by Hallmark Channel

Romantic love is a deep physical and emotional attraction. It generally involves a mix of emotional and sexual desire: emotional highs, exhilaration, passion, and elation. It is a type of feeling that is passionate, fanciful, expressive, and pleasurable from an emotional attraction towards another person (Karandashev, 2015, p.4). Lantz (1982) defined romantic love as “a love based on personal-emotional attraction, with a strong erotic component which is often repressed because of moral conflict.” Its main features include idealization of the loved one, the notion of a one and only, and the idea that true love overcomes all obstacles. This is different from conjugal love in marriage which is developed over extend periods of time and is based on feelings of appreciation, loyalty and admiration, stemming from the sharing of common experiences (Lantz, 1982, p. 349).

happy true love GIF by Fifty Shades

Love in the sense of sexual passion is a common feature of societies. But romantic love is different from sexual love. Romantic love is all about emotional communication and the attractiveness of the other. It carries with it the idea of intimacy because one falls in love specifically with the qualities of the other. It tells a forward-looking story or narrative about the lovers and creates a biography, not just for one person, but for two people (Giddens & Pierson, 1998). Sexual love is temporary and focused on physical attraction and beauty of the partners and not on the quality of the romantic relationship and  personal traits and personalities of the lovers.

 

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

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