8 Biggest Turn-offs for Women on a Date

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The following are some of the biggest turn-offs for women on a date. Men must avoid these actions and traits when having a formal or informal date with a lady. A turned off girl would probably tell her partner the following observations:

1. You Lack  Confidence, Boy! Your Body Language will Show it.

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Insecure personality as shown in the guy’s body language is a big turn off for women in a date.  If you’re not confident about yourself or are feeling nervous during your dinner-date, your female partner will notice it. This is one of the biggest reasons why guys get spurned on a date. Women usually look for guys who are confident, secure, and ready to protect them. How can a nervous guy assure a woman that he can be dependable and reliable if he himself lacks self-confidence?

2. Oh, Boy! You look Cheap in Your Own Date When You Don’t Have To Be!

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The first impression counts in your first date. Prepare for it, including your budget. Make sure you have enough money to bring your girl to an expensive dinner-date! Your date will result in a big turn off if she noticed that you trying to save money and thus look cheap! The following actions are some of the biggest turn-offs for women:

“#1: Order the cheapest thing on the menu, and make a joke if his date orders something more expensive. Even if you’re kidding, this makes her feel hugely unappreciated.

#2: Ask to split the bill, when he’s the one who asked her out. Look, ‘don’t go Dutch’ is a core rule of manliness. If you ask her out, you pay. It’s just polite.

#3: Bring a bottle of wine to a party, and take the leftover wine home. I’m not even going to explain this one…”(Sutherns).

3. You Have a Bad (Or Overpowering) Scent, Boy!

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Some advice to avoid a bad or overpowering smell:

Step #1: Use antiperspirant, instead of just deodorant. Deodorant only attempts to block bad odors… while antiperspirant stops sweating altogether.

Step #2: Brush your teeth well every day, instead of just intensely brushing right before a date. Bad breath germs can live in your mouth/throat and can even grow … so wipe them out regularly by brushing on a schedule.

Step #3: Choose the right cologne (and use a max of two sprays). Some cologne is more powerful than others, so get one that’s long-lasting, and tone down the number of sprays (one spray on both your chest and neck are ideal).

4. You Accidentally Make Yourself the Focus of Your Date!

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“There’s a distinct line (a timeline, actually) between being expressive (what girls want)and being too informative (what they don’t want). Being expressive means telling her that you like her, being honest when something’s bothering you, etc.…but being too informative means talking about things that are way too personal/serious too soon (when she’s not ready to hear them…)” (Sutherns).

5. You are a Boring Guy!

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A boring guy is another big turn off for women. Women like dating partners who are entertaining with a strong sense of humor, making the date worthwhile. All girls and guys have experienced this at some point in their lives. Try to sit next to a guy, and his conversations were so boring that you would rather jump off a cliff.

6. You’re a Narcissist Dating Partner!

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A self-centered guy who cares more about himself than his date is a big turn off for women. Any guy who spends more time in front of the mirror than his own girlfriend is a huge turn-off. Also, if you’re having dinner with your date, and the waiter accidentally spills a bit of juice on your silk shirt, wipe it away like a man. Don’t whine about how your silk shirt is ruined and behave like a drama queen.

7. You Act Like You Know it all, Boy!

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Don’t talk as if you know all the answers to all the questions of your female partner. Nothing is worse than you acting like a dude who’s too self-absorbed with your own self and forget to notice that you partner exists. Talk less and listen more to your date. Make her feel that she is important and special during your date.

 8. You’re not Following Her Through, Boy!

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Women like persistent men. After the date, women expect their men to make a follow after the first encounter. They like men who pursue them. An inconsistent guy is the biggest loser and turn-off for women.

GIF Credit: Giphy.com

References

Patterson, E. (n.d.). The 10 Biggest Dating Turn Offs for Women. Retrieved from https://www.lovepanky.com/men/understanding-women/10-dating-turn-offs-for-women.

Sutherns, R. (n.d.). “7 Big Things that Turn Women Off [From Her]”. Retrieved from https://www.mantelligence.com/surprising-things-that-turn-women-off/.

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Top 5 Biblical Passages for Christian Business Leaders

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1. Mark 10:43-45

“But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be the slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

This passage from the Gospel of Mark is considered the central image of a Christian leader– a suffering servant. A leader who serves his/her constituents rather than being served by them. Leadership in the Christian sense is service for the sake of the Kingdom and self-emptying to empower others.

Under this model, the leader does not seek glory and power for his/her self but to promote and protect the common good even if this entails dying to one’s self and disregarding his/her self-interest.

In Catholic Church’s teaching, doing business is a form of service to God and people–the customers. Its ultimate goal is not really profiteering but serving the public by providing consumers with high-quality goods and services in order that they can enjoy the fruits of God’s creation.

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A good and Christian leader must then strive to become a servant of God in the business organization, providing the public with quality goods and services.

As managers, they must not abuse their discretionary powers in the workplace but instead empower others to become servants and leaders too in their respective duties and areas of responsibilities.

2. Philippians 2:3

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves..”

This passage from the Letter of Paul to the Philippians can remind business leaders not to seek selfish ambitions or vain conceit. They must be humble, always conscious that positions of power in the business organization is temporary and meant for service.

Selfish ambition or conceit in the business organization can lead to unhealthy competition, politics, and sidelining of the corporate values just to get ahead of others in the promotion system.

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3. 1 Timothy 3:2

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Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…”

This passage reminds business leaders to walk the talk, to witness what they preach in the workplace. A good and Christian leader is one who always provides a good example for others to follow.

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4. Proverbs 27:23-24

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“Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds;  for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations.”
Business leaders must not be only conscious about their position of power and authority, of the benefits and rewards they could get if they perform well in the company.
They must, first of all, know the real conditions of their employees in the workplace. They should check whether they are properly remunerated with a just wage by the company.
Corporate productivity is often tied up with the level of satisfaction of the workers with their wage and social benefits.
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5. Isaiah 41:10

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“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

In Church’s teachings, work is connected with one’s spirituality: A leader’s duty and role in the company must be part of his/her spiritual life.

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A Christian leader is one who is always conscious that the work of managing others in the workplace is part of his/her quest for salvation. Sanctification is not only expressed inside the Church but anywhere since God’s presence is everywhere. Thus, if business leaders are always aware of God’s presence in the workplace, he/she would never be fearful in his decisions and actions.

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What conclusion would suit the disrespect of teenagers in our society?*

*This post is based on my answer to Quora.com question: https://www.quora.com/What-conclusion-would-suit-the-disrespect-of-teenagers-in-our-society/answer/Ven-Ballano

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Disrespect of teenagers to elders, parents, and those in authority would depend on the type of culture and society. Not all teenagers are disrespectful to people if the culture values respect, honor, and harmony in society.

I think Japan and most Asian cultures give more premium to the values of honesty, respect of elders, and honor in society.

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In more liberal advanced countries which have strong child-abuse laws, higher incidence of disrespect can probably be found as the parents could no longer impose corporal punishments to discipline their children.

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Moreover, the postmodern environments in advanced Western countries can encourage people to be innovative and to“create their own rules” rather than just obey authorities and existing social norms.

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The Internet and Cyberspace, often used by urban youth, can encourage “absolute” freedom and creativity and contribute to the “free spirit” of teenagers that can be interpreted by older adults as a form of disrespect and resistance to society’s informal and formal norms.

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Teenagers are in a transition stage from childhood to adulthood and thus they generally dislike old rules and tightening their freedom by older adults.

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Finally, “disrespect” is a relative term, one culture may consider an act as disrespectful but not by others. For instance, Americans can normally call their parents by their first names which is culturally acceptable. But for Asians, especially for Filipinos, calling one’s mother or father by their first names is highly disrespectful to parents and thus culturally unacceptable.

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Profit, Corruption, and Red Tape in Doing Business in the Philippines

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Hiring and Profit in the Philippines

Textbooks and courses on business administration, management, and entrepreneurship with their emphasis on attaining business forecast and maximizing profit always imply that productive capital in doing business (such money, stocks, land, equipment, machinery, etc.) is a priority over labor (or workers’ welfare).

The common practice of some businesses is to sacrifice the wage and benefits of workers to lower production cost and thus attain their forecast and earn higher profit levels. This indicates a capitalist thinking which gives more importance to productive capital rather than labor. One unfair labor practice that shows this priority of the growth of capital rather than labor is the “casualization” of labor in developing countries like the Philippines.

To lower labor cost in order to increase profit is the hiring of casual workers from agencies with work contracts with less than six months to prevent employees to become regular or permanent under the Philippine Labor Code and thus save money by not spending for their social benefits. This practice indicates that businessmen/women are not really more concerned with the welfare of the workers by providing them permanent jobs and sufficient social benefits in the name of Christian charity and social justice but with the increase of profit or capital for their business.

The hiring of students as casual crew in fast-food chains rather than permanent employees is another example of this “casualization” and prioritization of capital over labor. The hiring of employees in security agencies, janitorial services, and call centers in the Philippines follows this trend of contractualization of labor.

Corruption and Doing Business in the Philippines

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Entrepreneurs who want to earn the profit for their business could be totally faulted if they fail to provide a moral wage which is sufficient to raise a family. From the point of view of business owners and managers, one important reason why they tend to lower the wage of workers in the Philippines is the high cost of doing business in the country. To maintain, expand or to stay profitable in business, entrepreneurs are sometimes pressured to lower the labor cost.

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Corruption is another expense in business. In Transparency International surveys, the Philippines has consistently been listed as among the most corrupt countries in Asia and in the world. Business owners and managers want to recovery the bribes they gave to corrupt government regulators and law enforcers often find ways to reduce production cost. And most often they resort to minimizing the wage and benefits of their employees. The capacity of employers to provide a decent wage to their workers is sometimes conditioned by the overall environment of doing business in a particular country.

Analysis, Magnifying Glass

A World Bank report on the cost of doing business in 2018 revealed that the Philippines is one of the most unattractive destinations of foreign investment in the world because of the delay and high cost of starting and doing business in the country. In general, doing business in the country is tedious, time-consuming, and expensive, making it difficult for employers to be generous to their workers in wage and social benefits.

Red Tape

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Red tape is one major reason why employers incur higher expenses in doing business resulting which can sometimes reduce their capacity to give a higher wage and social benefits to their workers. Research and theory have been inconsistent and ambiguous on the nature of “red tape”. But there is  an understanding that red tape has something to do with excessive or meaningless paperwork  (Bennett & Johnson, 1979); a high degree of formalization and constraint (Hall, 1968); unnecessary rules, procedures and regulations; inefficiency; unjustifiable delays; and as a result from all this, frustration and vexation (Bozeman 1993, p. 273).

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Rosenfeld (1984) defines red tape as the sum of government guidelines, procedures, and forms that are perceived as excessive, unwieldy, or pointless in relation to official decisions and policy (as cited in Bozeman, 1993, p. 276). Theories abound why red tape exist in government regulation. But one popular theory sees the concern of the government to create a system of checks and balances in the regulatory process in order to avoid corruption and deviation from the official law as causing red tape.

Taxes, Tax Evasion, Police, Handcuffs

Red tape is one of the more serious bureaucratic obstacles in addition to legal obstacles in the full legalization of business in the local economy.  With numerous unnecessary paper works, bureaucratic requirements and procedures, and  unexplained delays in securing business registration, licenses and permits as well as  compliance with the yearly requirements and inspections to maintain legality in business,  traders or entrepreneurs increase their cost of maintaining their business which, in turn, can discourage them to improve the wage of their employees. Thus, the Philippines is one most difficult countries to do business in Southeast Asia as well as in the world according to the  World Bank Report on the ease of doing business in the world.

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Leadership in the Social Media: The Sociology of Followers

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To Expand or Not to Expand Connections

Users of social media often face the perennial issue of whether to add too many followers and connections or just maintain a few close business and professional connections in their accounts. On LinkedIn, your direct connections are also your followers. LinkedIn users with numerous connections and followers are usually honored by the network as thought leaders and influencers. On Facebook, your followers are your friends. On Twitter and other social media sites, your followers are those who follow you regardless of whether you follow them back or not. But aside from posting quality articles to attract many followers, there is no other effective way to expand one’s network except to send or accept invites. But how can one becomes an influencer if s/he is encouraged to just remain closely connected with his/her limited number of connections (around 500 on LinkedIn), discouraged to connect with the unfamiliar others or become open networkers (LIONs) or to go beyond the maximum limit of connections and friends? (e.g. 30,000 on LinkedIn or 5,000 friends on Facebook). Which is which: to limit one’s connections to maintain intimacy within the social network and to limit his/her social influence? Or expand one’s network to expand his/her social influence and to lessen his/her group intimacy in the network?

The Dilemma

Users face a dilemma with regard to the ideal number of connections and followers in the social media. To gain too many connections and followers implies lesser time for the user to interact closely with each member the social network: The higher is the number of followers, the lesser is his/her available time to spend quality time with all of them in the social network. But If the user does not accept too many connections and followers, especially those who are unfamiliar or strangers to him/her in order to maintain a strong bonding in the network, s/he limits his/her range of social influence and possibility to connect with the right people who might help him/her in his/her business or professional career. Thus, a recruiter who connects only with people whom s/he personally knows in real or digital life is incapacitated to meet new people and connect with the right applicants who can fill up his/her wanted list. Moreover, a limited number of connections, friends or followers in the social media implies low social impact which can make one’s profile less attractive to people and to the business world.

The Sociological Significance of Connections and Followers

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There is a sociological basis why having many connections and followers is desirable than having only a few. There is a grain of truth to the idea that the number of followers or connection is the user’s “social” net worth in the social media and status scale. Sir Richard Branson who has more than 6 million followers on LinkedIn is obviously has a higher social net worth than anyone else in the world’s largest professional and business social networking site. Please take note that we are talking here of “social” not economic or monetary net worth which is the main criteria being used in identifying the richest people in the world. Some top influencers such as Branson or Gates, possess both a high social class (wealth) and social status (prestige). But there are others who are not be very rich and yet very high in social status because of their unique skills, level of achievement and high number of connections and followers in the social media Thus, a user with only 100 connections is obviously lesser in social status compared to somebody with 5,000 followers or more. The indicator of social class is primarily wealth, property and monetary net worth while social status is the person’s credential and level of prestige. In social media especially in LinkedIn where every user is presumed to belong to the middle or upper social classes, social status based on the user’s prestige (as reflected in the profile), popularity and number of connection and followers can be a strong differentiating factor among social media users.

The Power of Connection and Followers

The power of having more connections and followers can be felt directly by the user through the power of his/her invites: The higher is his/her number connections and followers, the more powerful is his/her invites in the social media. The acceptance rate of his/her invites is directly correlated with his/her number of connections and followers: the higher is the number of followers, the higher is the rate of acceptance of the invites. Having more followers and connections can also have a bandwagon effect: Who can resist connecting with popular accounts in case they invite you? Can you turn down an invitation, for instance, if Richard Branson, President Obama, Guy Kawasaki or other influencers ask you to connect on LinkedIn? Being connected with someone with a big following has an advantage to the one who is invited. If that person mentions you in their posts and updates or likes or comments in your posts or updates, his/her thousands of followers can view them and see your profile picture and headline as well, thus expanding your personal brand.

Resolving the Dilemma: Maintain Bonding with Close Friends/Connections but Expand Network

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There is a third way to resolve the dilemma of whether to gain more followers or not:in the social media: Maintain and expand gradually one’s small group of intimate connections within one’s social network but continue to expand the number of connections and followers to increase social status and influence. Sociologically speaking, it is humanly impossible to maintain intimacy if one’s group or network is huge. In real life, when a person’s primary group increases in membership and becomes a secondary group, his/her personal bonding and intimacy with it declines, but his/her social status and influence in society climbs. And this is also true in online interaction in the social media.The increase of membership in a social network can decrease the level of intimacy between the user and all his/her followers. But it has an advantage. It also increases his/her social influence and marketability in the digital economy.

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In sum, there is really no serious problem between maintaining social bonding with a few close connections and expanding one’s social network in the social media. Indeed, life, whether real or virtual, is full of contradictions and paradoxes; one just needs to be creative, empirical and innovative in his/her journey in the world of the social media!

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