Fatherhood is Leadership

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Leadership begins at home. How our father brought us up at home can influence our own style of leadership.Our first lesson of leadership comes from our own father. But we have to remember that fatherhood is a social construct and not an inborn trait. So any person performing a paternal role is a father. Our first lesson can come from our single parent Mom who also acts a “father” in the absence of a biological dad. Any member of the LGBT can also act as a “father” if s/he adopted a child. Whatever is the gender of our fathers, it is from them we learn how to lead and care for people.

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From birth up to adolescence, the father’s influence to their children is crucial as social scientists consider this period as the formative years of the child. Whatever the child learns on the basics of leadership, if there are any, is very significant social learning the child can bring as he or she grows up to adulthood.

What kind of a leader you are now is largely influenced by your parents, especially the father, raised you up on how to deal with people. The peer group too plays a significant influence when the child reaches the adolescent period. This formative period or primary socialization can mold a person’s mind concerning leadership. Of course, the formal education of the person in school is also an important factor to his or her leadership formation.

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In patriarchal society, the role of the father is actually a leadership role. Under this social structure, the father is the head of the household, the breadwinner, and political leader of the family. So becoming a father is actually becoming a leader, albeit only in the limited sphere of the household. But whatever the father does in his own family can also be projected to his employees and subordinates in his business firm, if he performs some managerial roles. So it’s crucial that the father must be a benevolent and effective manager and leader to his own home in order that he can also consciously or unconsciously become the effective and generous manager or CEO of his firm. In other words, he must practice what he preached as a leader, starting with his own home management!

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Fatherhood is not an inborn trait. Sociologists believe that fatherhood is a social construct. It can be learned. So the defects of one’s upbringing due to a “bad” father can be remedied through proper education and influence of good people.

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Photo Credit: Pixabay.com

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GIFs for Dads: Happy Father’s Day!

happy fathers day GIF by MFD

May I greet all dads out there a “Happy Father’s Day”!

Let me share with you different dimensions of fatherhood as shown by the following GIFs. Not all fathers are the same. They come from various places with different personalities, and cultural orientations. Some are good but others are bad. Nonetheless, they are all fathers who give life to their children. So, let us celebrate their fatherhood today:

mike pence dad GIF by Election 2016

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dad hugs GIF

tossing fathers day GIF

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baby sleeping GIF by NBA

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fathers day dad GIF

fathers day lol GIF by America's Funniest Home Videos

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL DADS, ESPECIALLY TO MY FATHER “ENDO” AND FATHER-IN-LAW “DADOY”!

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My List of Top Dads: Happy Father’s Day

fathers day dad GIF by Hallmark eCards
Each one of us has a list of heroes and great dads in history. They can be local and/or global figures. Of course, our own dads are part of this list. But dads do not necessarily mean males. Fatherhood is a social construct and role assigned by society to persons with families.
In matriarchal societies like the Nuer tribe in Africa, the father is a female. Women in this society possess political power and act as the head of the household. There is also a growing number of single parents in highly urbanized societies. So, the “father” of this type of family is  the “mother” or the single female parent, just as a male single parent acts as a “mother” in the absence of a wife. Single parents perform the dual roles of being the mother and the father of the household. In some instances, gays, lesbians, transgenders, or members of the LGBT community also act as “fathers” if they adopted some children. So, fatherhood is not a role monopolized by males in society. Any one can perform this task as long as the person is morally fit.
Moreover, fatherhood is not only biological in nature, but also spiritual. It is a relative term  which can mean different things to people with different cultural orientation. Thus, some people can act as “spiritual” dads in the sense that they provide some personal advice and spiritual guidance to certain people. Thus, priests and religious can also perform paternal roles to their flock and community of believers.
Below is a list of some great dads of our times and their heroic deeds to their children. The first two dads in the list are heroic fathers who saved their children. The last two dads are my spiritual and biological dads. The best of all dads for me is, of course, the last one in the list–my own father, Rosendo Ballano, Sr. I owed a lot from him what I am today. He is the greatest dad that God has given me in this life.
1. A Dad who gave his son a liver transplant.
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“Brittany Munn, who lives in upstate New York, knew his son was sick from the time he was born, but doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong at first. They eventually discovered Caleb had the rare and serious biliary atresia, and said he needed a liver transplant if he was to survive past the age of 2” (Begley, 2015).

“Luckily, his father was a perfect match. As soon as Brian Munn found out he could donate part of his liver to make his son healthy, he jumped at the opportunity. Father and son now have matching scars from their March 2015 surgeries, and Caleb will continue to require treatment. But for now, he is much healthier, and his dad is glad he could do what was needed to help” (Begley, 2015).

2. The dad whose first aid training saved his own son.
father and son dad GIF by SYFY

“When Ray Adams got CPR training, he didn’t expect to have to use it the same day—and on his own son. Shortly after receiving the CPR training, the youth football coach was watching his 11-year-old son RayShawn play in a scrimmage in Hartford, Conn. in August 2014, when RayShawn was knocked over and seemed to be struggling to breathe. Adams started performing chest compressions and blowing into his son’s mouth, until RayShawn gasped in air and began breathing again. Adams now says he hopes all coaches get the same training to be able to step in when tragedy strikes” (Begley, 2015).

 

3. The Dad that taught his “spiritual” son how to pray and meditate.

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This spiritual is my spiritual director when I was still a seminarian at San Jose major Seminary in Ateneo de Manila campus. Fr. Thomas H. Green, S.J. is my spiritual father who me helped a lot in my spiritual journey. Fr. Green is a great spiritual director and  a best-selling author of  spiritual books.

During the lowest moments of my life, adjusting to lay life after my seminary formation, he was always there to guide me. Unfortunately, the last time I saw him was during his wake. And do you know how I felt when I last saw him inside the coffin? I felt peace, serenity,  and joy as I saw his face for the last time. Really, it was an extraordinary feeling and encounter with him at San Jose Seminary chapel! I really felt that I was seeing a saint who was just sleeping!

4. The Dad that taught his son to be celebrate life, be generous and fair to all.

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This is my deceased dad, Rosendo “Endo” Ballano, Sr.! Although he had his own personal weaknesses, I always remember 3 important life lessons from him: Celebrate life, Be generous to people who need help, and be sensitive to injustices in the social environment.

I always remember that whenever I received a First Honor or being top of my class in grade school, he would always celebrate it with a feast, with lechon or roasted pig in the beach. He was also the first person to admire my accomplishments. I also can’t forget my father’s generosity to his children and to people who need help from him. Although he is not rich and a highly-educated person, he would always find ways to help people in his own little ways. I would imagine that If he were a rich person, he would had been a great philanthropist!

Finally, I inherited from him my strong sense of justice for the poor, my sympathy to those who are oppressed by an unjust system. I remember being elected as the President of a Faculty Club in one Catholic university. I was surprised how I was like my father who is sensitive to the injustices for the less fortunate. In a conservative Catholic school setting, I was able to lobby reforms and express my co-faculty and co-employees’ desire for more benefits from the institution to the religious administrators. I was also able to initiate some reforms for the good of the workers. My dad could have done this if he were in my place. I am indeed like my dad in this regard. We, his children, are indeed grateful to our Lord Jesus Christ for giving us “Tatay Endo” as our father!

Happy Father’s Day to all dads out there!

father's day water GIF by bubly

happy fathers day GIF by Caroline Director

GIF Credits: Giphy.com

References

Begley, S. (15 June 2015 ). 5 Hero Dads Worth Celebrating This Father’s Day. Time Magazine. Retrieved from http://time.com/3919243/fathers-day-hero-dads/.

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4 Myths about Fatherhood

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Myth No. 1: Fathers are always male.

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Fatherhood is not an inborn trait. It is a social role that one can learn in society. Although the great majority of fathers are male, there are fathers who are gays, lesbians, or even transgenders. Single mothers too also perform the role of a father to their children. Two important traditional roles of fathers in the family are being breadwinners and disciplinarians to the children. But any gender who can perform the paternal role can obviously become a father even though his/her sex or biological make-up is not male.

Myth No. 2:  Fathers are always disciplinarians.

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Being a disciplinarian parent would greatly depend on the personality and social upbringing of the person. Either the mother, father, or both parents can be strict and disciplinarian in terms of enforcing the family norms. It is not always the father. A domineering personality of the parent, either the heterosexual mother, father, or gay is often the disciplinarian parent in the family. This trait is sometimes related to the social class background of  one or both parents.

Research shows that parents who come from the working class tend to be strict in discipline and following of rules as they are used to obeying policies in their companies and orders from their managers. Parents from the upper or middle classes who are usually entrepreneurs or managers tend to be more creative and flexible in enforcing  the family rules to their children.

Myth No. 3: Mothers are more emotionally connected with their children than the fathers.

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Again, the strong emotional bonding with the children in the family would depend on the personality of the parent. The nine personality types called the Enneagram classifies the personality of people into 3 centers: The head person, whose first reaction to situations is to think and analyze before doing an action; the heart person, whose usually cares for people and relationship; and the gut person who is usually an action-oriented person. Please view the videos below to learn more about the Enneagram:

If the parent is a head or gut person, expect him/her to be more functional, detached, and less nurturing. But if the parent is a heart person, expect him/her to be strongly connected with his/her children emotionally. Heart persons are nurturers. They love to take care of their children and personally attend to their personal needs. One important need of Number 2 personality of the Enneagram is the “need to be needed.” Nurturing parent in the family is not necessarily the mother, although many mothers are nurturers because of with maternal instincts. However, the father too can be also nurturing more than the mother is the former is a heart person and the latter is a head or gut person.

Culture and socialization also play an important influence to the parent’s capacity to connect emotionally with his/her children. The point here is that the role  to connect emotional with his/her children does not automatically assigned to the mother. A father too can be nurturing depending on the personality and cultural training and orientation.

Myth No. 4: Fathers are indispensable.

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The final myth propagated by the media in connection with fatherhood these days is the myth of the indispensable father. This means that a male father is necessary to raise a normal family. But some studies show that a single female parent can still raise her children in a normal way. In this case the single parent plays a dual role as father and mother figure. Besides, the single mother is usually assisted by her male relatives and friends that provide masculine socialization to the children.

pexels-photo-590045.jpeg

According to a census in the U.S.,  less than 1 percent (140,000) of America’s 22.5 million married families with children under 15 stayed at home most of the time. By contrast, about 24 percent (5,327,000) of those families had a stay-at-home mom. This means that the vast majority — more than 97 percent — of all stay-at-home parents are moms, not dads. American mothers are therefore more influential to the life of the children than the fathers who are often away from home as breadwinners.

Thank you for reading this post. Feel free to like, comment, and share this post. sign up with our newsletter for more updates or follow this blog via email.

Photo credit: Pexels.com free photos

4 Top Myths about Fatherhood

baby-caucasian-child-daughter-53590.jpeg

Myth No. 1: Fathers are always male.

man-person-cute-young.jpg

Fatherhood is not an inborn trait. It is a social role that one can learn in society. Although the great majority of fathers are male, there are fathers who are gays, lesbians, or even transgenders. Single mothers too also perform the role of a father to their children. Two important traditional roles of fathers in the family are being breadwinners and disciplinarians to the children. But any gender who can perform the paternal role can obviously become a father even though his/her sex or biological make-up is not male.

Myth No. 2:  Fathers are always disciplinarians.

pexels-photo-906045.jpeg

Being a disciplinarian parent would greatly depend on the personality and social upbringing of the person. Either the mother, father, or both parents can be strict and disciplinarian in terms of enforcing the family norms. It is not always the father. A domineering personality of the parent, either the heterosexual mother, father, or gay is often the disciplinarian parent in the family. This trait is sometimes related to the social class background of  one or both parents.

Research shows that parents who come from the working class tend to be strict in discipline and following of rules as they are used to obeying policies in their companies and orders from their managers. Parents from the upper or middle classes who are usually entrepreneurs or managers tend to be more creative and flexible in enforcing  the family rules to their children.

Myth No. 3: Mothers are more emotionally connected with their children than the fathers.

pexels-photo-909222.jpeg

Again, the strong emotional bonding with the children in the family would depend on the personality of the parent. The nine personality types called the Enneagram classifies the personality of people into 3 centers: The head person, whose first reaction to situations is to think and analyze before doing an action; the heart person, whose usually cares for people and relationship; and the gut person who is usually an action-oriented person. Please view the videos below to learn more about the Enneagram:

If the parent is a head or gut person, expect him/her to be more functional, detached, and less nurturing. But if the parent is a heart person, expect him/her to be strongly connected with his/her children emotionally. Heart persons are nurturers. They love to take care of their children and personally attend to their personal needs. One important need of Number 2 personality of the Enneagram is the “need to be needed.” Nurturing parent in the family is not necessarily the mother, although many mothers are nurturers because of with maternal instincts. However, the father too can be also nurturing more than the mother is the former is a heart person and the latter is a head or gut person.

Culture and socialization also play an important influence to the parent’s capacity to connect emotionally with his/her children. The point here is that the role  to connect emotional with his/her children does not automatically assigned to the mother. A father too can be nurturing depending on the personality and cultural training and orientation.

Myth No. 4: Fathers are indispensable.

pexels-photo-755028.jpeg

The final myth propagated by the media in connection with fatherhood these days is the myth of the indispensable father. This means that a male father is necessary to raise a normal family. But some studies show that a single female parent can still raise her children in a normal way. In this case the single parent plays a dual role as father and mother figure. Besides, the single mother is usually assisted by her male relatives and friends that provide masculine socialization to the children.

pexels-photo-590045.jpeg

According to a census in the U.S.,  less than 1 percent (140,000) of America’s 22.5 million married families with children under 15 stayed at home most of the time. By contrast, about 24 percent (5,327,000) of those families had a stay-at-home mom. This means that the vast majority — more than 97 percent — of all stay-at-home parents are moms, not dads. American mothers are therefore more influential to the life of the children than the fathers who are often away from home as breadwinners.

Thank you for reading this post. Feel free to like, comment, and share this post. sign up with our newsletter for more updates or follow this blog via email.

Photo credit: Pexels.com free photos