What is a Platonic Love?

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Platonic love (often lower-cased as platonic) is a term used for a type of love that is non-sexual. It is named after Plato,  although this philosopher never actually used it himself. Instead, it comes from Plato’s dialogue, the “Symposium,” which discusses the different types of Eros (love).

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Platonic love is a bond between a couple that involves no lust or carnality; often a deep pure love. Its symbol is usually the white rose. A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sexes. A platonic relationship is one without romantic or sexual intentions. It can be considered as a “romantic friendship” i.e.,  a close, physically intimate but not sexually intimate – friendship.

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Platonic love in its modern sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. It is a deep, non-sexual friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sex. Platonic love is ‘close affection between two persons, attracted to each other, but without sexual intimacy’ [1].

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It is a purely spiritual and emotional and presumably free from physical desire. St. Claire and St. Francis of Assisi  who are known as two great Catholic saints in the Catholic Church were said to be close friends spiritually as followers of Christ without sexual intimacy. Their type of intimacy and friendship were based on a common love for God; thus, they can be considered Platonic and not romantic. “The love between friends is platonic love. Platonic describes a relationship that is purely spiritual and not physical. So, if a guy and a girl hang out all the time but aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, they’d describe their friendship as platonic” [2].


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Yes, but once platonic becomes romantic, it’s difficult to return to its original platonic state. Best friends can fall in love romantically depending on the situations and personal goals of the partners. However, platonic love has no intention of entering into an exclusive erotic relationship nor entering into marriage, while romantic love aims to achieve an exclusive relationship, with lovers “going steady” and  to “tie the know” in the altar of matrimony.

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Despite these differences, platonic and romantic love also have similarities. Attraction, intimacy, respect, support and pleasure are just as important in platonic relationships as they are in romantic relationships. Closeness matters in romantic as well as in platonic relationships.

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But whether it’s platonic or romantic, the most important thing is the love couples share for one another. In the words of Plato: “Love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the Gods.”

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[1] Gooch, 1989, p.360 cited in Karandeshev, 2015, p.4.

[2] https://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Platonic-Love-and-Friendship.

7 Top Traits Women Want in Men

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1. With Sense of Humor

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A sense of humor makes men attractive to women. Being able to laugh at the stresses of this world is a must, according to 77 percent of the women in one study. Men get bonus points if they can make women laugh. Humor tells a woman that you can laugh at the many difficulties that life throws at you.

Moreover, some studies showed that women typically choose better-looking guys for flings, not long-term relationships. Men with strong sense of humor may not necessarily be attractive. They also showed that women love men who make them smile and laugh, especially during times of stress and problems.

2. Intelligent

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A worldly, interesting man is a man 55 percent of women like to show off. Men who are problem solvers make women feel secure, and men who are always improving are never boring.

3. Confident

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A man who feels secure in his own skin makes the woman he’s with feel secure, according to 41 percent of women in one research study. By showing men can handle unfamiliar people or situations, they tell women in their life that they need not fear, either.

4. With High Earning Potential

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One in five women surveyed in one study said a man’s success in his career contributes to his sexiness. If you’ve demonstrated talent, goal achievement, and follow-through, you give women confidence that you will be a good provider.

5. With Great Ambition

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Men with great ambition in life is attractive to women. The ambition of achieving higher social status and social class in society can impress women who want their men to be successful. “Not ambition in the sense that you knock other people down to build yourself up, but in the fact that you will work hard to get what you want and help others to do the same thing” (Jordan).

6. Passionate About Life

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Women love men who are passionate in whatever they do in life. They also love men who live in the moment and enjoy life every day. It’s not about the destination, but about the journey in life that women expect from their male partners.

7. Brave

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Women are attracted to brave men who can face difficult situations with confidence.  Being brave, alert in emergency situations, is very attractive to women and indicates that they can protect them from all types of danger.

8. Famous

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If men are famous, then by definition a lot of people know them. If a lot of people know them, they are therefore important. Being important is very attractive to women. Popularity and achievement are attractive for female partners. Women want their men to be achievers, innovative, and leaders in their chosen fields.

Being famous men implies more social connection, prestige, and honor for their women. Popularity is an indicator of social status, one of the main sources of power in society, together with social class.

GIF Credits: Giphy.com


Calo, C. (n.d.). the 100 Top Things that Attract Women to Men.Way Too Social. Retrieved from https://www.waytoosocial.com/top-100-things-that-attract-women-to-men/.

Jones, L. (17 April 2018). Top 20 Traits Women Want in a Man. Men’shealth. Retrieved from https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19535604/top-20-traits-she-wants/.

Jordan, S. (n.d.). 7 Qualities Women Find Attractive in Men. Lifehack. Retrieved from https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/7-qualities-women-find-attractive-men.html.

Does Age Matter in a Romantic Relationship?


“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter” (Mark Twain).


The saying that “Age doesn’t matter” is a popular expression among people for those who fall in love with a wide age gap. They say that love is blind. So, it’s okay to be blinded by the age of one’s crush or lover. Experts on romantic love acknowledge that falling in love is indeed a strong positive energy that makes a person less aware of the consequences of having a big age gap in romantic relationship. One can be so enamored with the other person’s beauty, popularity, personality, social status, or wealth, that he or she forgets that the other person is either too old or too young for him/her! I already encountered some people who fell in love or even got married despite a wide age difference. When I was a boy, our 20-year old nanny was having a secret love affair with our 60-year old neighbor who was a widower with married children. It was indeed embarrassing during their wedding ceremony as the officiating priest had mistaken the groom as the parent of the bride and one of the young best men as the groom! Despite the age gap, they manage to have 3 children before the old man died.


Age really does matter in relationship despite romanticism of some people that it doesn’t affect romantic relationships. In sociology, age is an informal and unwritten social norm. Society has some standards on what age bracket is appropriate for a particular type of relationship, depending on the local culture. Whether one likes it or not, society has a way of classifying people engaging a particular type of social interaction. Defying this informal norm in a romantic relationship can lead to unintended informal and psychological sanction from the public, such as ridicule, suspicion, rumor, gossip, digital bashing in the social media, or even public shaming by people who strongly oppose the relationship. Try to hold hands and show romantic affection with an older man or woman while walking in a public park and you’ll never miss seeing people whispering or giggling in disbelief, or staring at you as if something is terribly wrong, especially when you’re in a rural setting! Generally, women like their men to be a little older and more experienced and mature in life. But if the age gap is quite wide, many people would probably start to think that it is not romantic love or true love that motivates the attraction but something else, maybe the wealth of the older partner.

Age as informal norm in society is not, however, an absolute rule! One can see couples with a big age difference. Among the Hollywood celebrities, the famous actor Michael Douglas and actress Catherine Zeta-Jones were married despite their age difference. These Oscar winners tied their knot in 2000, when Catherine was 31 years old and Michael was 56.

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Michael, 56 years old, with wife Catherine, 31 (Photo credit: hollywood.com)

In the Philippines, the famous folk singer Freddie Aguilar fell in love with a 16-year old girl and managed to marry her in Islamic rites. Under the Shariah law, a 16-year old can contract a valid marriage but not under the current 1987 Family Code of the country for Christians. Apparently both decided to change religion to tie the knot.


Freddie, 60 years old, with his 16-year old wife (Photo credit: Poklat.com)

Another famous noontime TV host and comedian married a younger woman more than twice his age. The 61-year old veteran Filipino comedian Vic Sotto married the 27-year old TV host Pauleen Luna in a private wedding.


Pauleen Luna, 27 years old and Vic Sotto, 61 (Photo Credit: gmanetwork.com)

If it is not an arranged marriage sanctioned by culture, people can be suspicious of the motive if they see romantic couples with a wide age gap. They often suspect wealth and/or social status as the main motive why the younger partner “falls in love” with the older guy. This suspicion can have a grain of truth. Normally, people are first attracted to others through their physicality. People project and communicate to the world though their bodies. Appearance matters during the initial encounter of partners in romantic love. Many surveys showed that the person’s eyes as the sexiest or most attractive body part during infatuation. They say that the eyes is the window of the person’s soul. The woman’s big breasts and butts associated with femininity and fertility are also attractive to men, while a tall height, a flat and strong abdomen and chest are attractive physical traits for women. But old people generally cannot boast their physical assets to attract younger people to enter into a romantic relationship with them. Thus, people become cynical of seeing a young and old couple romantically linked with each other.

Physicality, however, can take a backseat if the young and old partners become intimate and learn more about the cultural or non-physical aspects of the relationship such as knowing the other’s attitude, personality, social status, and value system. So people can be suspicious if a poor young woman falls in love with an old rich man as the latter’s youthful physicality has already been deteriorated by age. If he is not extremely handsome and sexy despite his age, it is understandable for them to conclude that it is not the physical appearance but probably the person’s wealth and social status that motivate her to love the other. Age then matters in discerning whether the relationship is truly a romantic love that can lead to marital love or just what the sociologist Anthony Giddens calls as “confluent love” or a contingent form of love without commitment, a love that is based on mutual and temporal satisfaction of the romantic partners–“enjoying the relationship while it lasts.”

In the next blog, we’ll discuss why a wide age gap can be a problem in the interaction and adjustment of the couple as they stay longer in the romantic relationship and marriage. This will also show that age matters in romantic or marital interaction! Cheers!



Globalization of Love: Benefits & Risks of Online Dating

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Many people today turn to the Internet and navigate in the cyber space to find their romantic partners. The Internet offers benefits in online dating. With the advent of globalization, digital technology, and the cyber space, people all over  can easily look for partners around the globe through various dating sites. Traditionally, before the invention of the Internet in the late 1980’s, people’s choice of finding their romantic partners is limited by physical distance and spatio-temporal space. Thus, they search for partners who are proximate to them in their school, office, neighborhood, or organization. But with the current worldwide web and numerous dating sites, they can now look for partners worldwide. Online dating has its own benefits and risks, though.

1. Cheaper

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To find a romantic partner through online dating sites is much cheaper than face-to-face dating encounters. Since there are many free dating sites, one can easily join their social network and start finding a romantic partner. One only needs a  gadget  and an Internet connection. In online dating, the guy does not spend a penny just to talk to his dating partner, no coffee or dinner date.

2. Convenient

A person who search for a partner online can immediately focus on people with similar, beliefs, age and other important criteria without having to spend time and money for a date. Non-matching people can easily be sidestepped without ever needing to make contact. Online dating is a “partner shopping” in a global supermarket of humanity (Healthyplace.com).

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3. Easy Access & Higher Chance of Finding a Match

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In online dating, potential partners can easily access  many potential partners than they could often find in face-to-face interaction. This is especially true for individuals interested in partners of a particular type, orientation, lifestyle, or in isolated areas (Nicholeson, 20 April 2014).

Many online dating sites offer various types of personality testing and matching. Such matching can help guide individuals toward dating partners who may be more compatible (Ibid).


1. Scamming

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Often in the form of an odd financial request, the scammer will spend a few weeks talking to a target in order to gain their trust, then, seemingly out of the blue the victim will receive a request for financial aid due to some outlandish set of circumstances that has befallen their new friend.

2. Catfishing/ Misrepresentation 

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The term catfishing refers to the practice of creating a fake online identity or profile in order to pursue one or multiple online relationships. While this is a less common occurrence on the more sinister end of the spectrum, as it turns out, everybody lies; according to a 2007 survey The Truth about Lying in Online Dating Profiles 81% of online dater’s lie about characteristics such as height, figure and age.

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3. Identity Theft 

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Age old advice, be careful what you put online. NEVER post your address on your profile as this can lead to a whole host of problems beyond identity theft such as stalking and harassment.

Online Dating websites require a lot of personal and financial information in order to set up an account so ensure you have an up to date Internet Security software package installed to safeguard yourself from viruses and hacking.

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Nicholson,J. (30 April 2014). Pros and Cons of Online Dating: When and How to Date Online. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201404/pros-and-cons-online-dating.

Notorn Team (n.d.). “Is Online Dating for you? The risks and benefits of searching for love online”. Norton UKBlog. Retrieved from https://uk.norton.com/norton-blog/2016/05/is_online_datingfor0.html.

Healthyplace.com (n.d.). “Advantages and Disadvantages of Online Dating”. Retrieved from https://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/online-relationships/the-advantages-and-disadvantages-of-online-dating


Female Body Parts Men Find Very Sexy

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Men fall in love with women for some reasons. It is not accidental. The first meeting may be accidental, but developing strong feelings for the other is based on their socialization or upbringing in the past. True love does not happen during the first encounter or date. It develops through time, after one partner realizes the personality, values, attitudes, and outlook in life of the other. But it can begin with the first sight of the other. But the attraction is not primarily biological but social. A man can easily fall with a woman if it reminds him of some traits or experiences he encountered in the past. To some researchers, a man can fall in love with a woman if one or some of the following traits or acts are present during the first encounter.

1. Bone Structure that Resembles that of their Mother.

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This is known as “sexual imprinting” coined by researchers. Mothers’ presence and child care during formative years have a strong effect for men. The physical structure and image of the mother has a strong influence to men’s choice on the type of women they would fall in love with. Women who resemble in personal and physical traits with their male partners’ mothers can most likely get the attention from men they fall in love with.

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With regard to physical attributes, some research suggest that men would most likely fall in love with women whose bone structure resembles that of their mothers. Of course, this theory presupposes that this type of men had good nurturing experience with their mothers during childhood and formative years. If not, then men would fall in love with women whose bone structure resembles with that of their surrogate mothers or women who took good care of them during childhood. The bone structure of the women during the first encounter or date would immediately remind the male partners of their mother’s image and physical presence. Most Japanese men love to be pampered by their mothers as part of their culture. Thus, they would most likely fall in love with women whose physical presence, such as similarity of bone structure, can remind them of their nurturing mothers.

  1. Low Waist-to-Hip Ratio

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Low waist-to-hip ratio (in which the waist is significantly narrower that the hips) as more attractive than those with wider waists. Researchers at University of Texas found that women with a good waist-to-hip ratio may subconsciously signal that a woman has good health and reproductive ability.

  1. Youthful Features

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A study from the journal Current Anthropology found that men from five different cultures showed a preference for females with youthful features like large eyes, a small nose, and full lips. The findings showed that men subconsciously seek out partners who are most likely to reproduce. Youthful features of women are related to their level of fertility and capacity to produce offspring.

Not all men, however, are attracted to youthful partners. This depends of the socialization and family experience of the partner. Men or women who are very close to their nurturing fathers or mothers tend to be attracted to more mature features of their partners. These are the kind of people who are looking for a “father or mother figure” in their romantic relationships to remind them of their nurturing experience during childhood and adolescence.

4. Long or Moderately Long Hair

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Women with moderately long hair or anything close to shoulder length as that looks feminine. However, there are men who fall in love with women with short hair. A person’s hair contributes a lot to the final appearance of the person. The hair has an aesthetic function. That’s why the beauty parlor business is attractive to women. A woman’s hair is often thought of as a defining feature of her femininity. Depending on the man’s wish list, a beautiful hair is an important women’s asset to get men’s attention. A long straight hair is usually attractive to men, although there are some guys who prefer a short one. Women do a lot of things on their hair to alter their looks and convey their personality to men.

5.Beautiful Eyes

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The eyes are the windows of the soul. Nothing attracts a man other than beautiful eyes, pair of blue, hazel or brown eyes are actually the killer, provides calm, comfort and warmth to the males. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the chest or bust as the number one female part that men find most attractive but the eyes. According to Cosmopolitan, men ranked the eyes as the top body part because no matter how different the taste can be—about hair, chest butt, legs, feet—every man can be disarmed with a sexy glance. The eyes are aid to be the window of the soul. The lyrics of the monster hit “For the First Time” by Kenny Logins captures the importance of women’s eyes for men who fall in time on the first encounter:

“For The First Time”

Are those your eyes, is that your smile
I’ve been lookin at you forever
But I never saw you before
Are these your hands holdin’ mine
Now I wonder how I could of been so blind

For the first time I am looking in your eyes
For the first time I’m seein’ who you are
I can’t believe how much I see
When you’re lookin back at me
Now I understand why love is…
Love is… for the first time..

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