10 Danger Signs Your Priest Has Serious Problems with His Vocation

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Pope Francis condemns careerism among priests and religious. Treating one’s priesthood as a career rather than a personal calling from God to live a life of service and holiness is contrary to the Church’s teachings on the true nature of Catholic priesthood.

“Using especially strong language on one of his favorite themes, Pope Francis decried a plague of careerism among priests and urged them to renounce their personal ambitions for service to the church — warning that failure to do so would make them look “ridiculous.”

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“Careerism is a leprosy, a leprosy,” the pope said June 6, in a speech to students from the Pontifical Ecclesiastical Academy, the school for future Vatican diplomats. “Please, no careerism!”

All types of priestly ministry require “great inner freedom,” the pope said, which calls for “vigilance in order to be free from ambition or personal aims, which can cause so much harm to the church.”

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Priests must make their priority the “cause of the Gospel and the fulfillment of the mission” entrusted to them, not self-fulfillment or public recognition, he said.

Such self-denial “may appear demanding,” the pope said, “but it will allow you, so to speak, to be and to breathe within the heart of the church.”

By “cultivating a life of prayer,” he told the priests, one can transform daily work into the “gymnasium of your sanctification” (Catholic News Service).

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Here are some signs that your priest is infected with the leprosy of careerism and, therefore, has serious problems with his vocation as a servant of God. This calls for the laity to pray for priests and be vigilant against clerical abuse to help them overcome careerism:

1. He is often conscious about his physical appearance.

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Priests are expected to be role models in hygiene and decency with regard to attire. But if he is too conscious of his looks and acts like ordinary teenagers, be warned that he have fallen in love with somebody or is having personal issues he cannot let go. It is normal for a person who falls in love to be extra conscious about their appearance and health.

2. He is often unavailable in the parish church.

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Priests are normally busy on weekends, especially Sundays, because most of the sacraments in the parish are celebrated during these days. Except if priests has other duties in the Church or seminary, they are expected to be available on weekdays. If they are not available and always out-of-town, then be warned that they may have personal affairs or relationships they are busy with during ordinary days.

3. He lacks enthusiasm when celebrating the sacraments.

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If the priest celebrates the sacraments such as the Mass, Baptism, Matrimony, etc as if he is only doing them as a chore, without enthusiasm, then be warned that he may have problems with his prayer life. One can easily feel the sanctity of the priest through his aura, demeanor, and level of spiritual enthusiasm in celebrating Christ’s sacraments.

4. He is often in need of money.

Priests have allowances and can receive stipends when celebrating masses. But if he engages in funding raising without a reasonable cause, be warned that your priest might be financing something such as a fancy car or supporting his own family which can be contrary to his vocation.

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5. He is often temperamental.

It is understandable that a priest might get angry if something goes wrong in his parish plans and see wrongdoing of his parishioners. After all, priests are also humans. But if he is suddenly different from his usual self and becomes easily irritable even in trivial things, then be warned that he might be in serious crisis with his vocation. He might have some serious personal problems which may be contrary to his vocation.

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6. He doesn’t prepare well his sermons.

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One can easily tell through the aura and sermon of the priest if he is a holy and spiritual person or he is just doing a chore. A good priest prepares his sermons well. He must not exceed 15 minutes in his homily as suggested by Pope Francis. He must not also use his sermons to vent his personal issues and unfulfilled needs.

7. He loves to show off his latest gadgets.

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Priests who love to show off his latest gadgets, such as iPhones, hoover boards, Mac Pros, and other expensive equipment, are giving wrong impressions to the laity. Why would they act like secular persons if they are spiritual leaders of the Church? They are supposed to be role models in Christian virtues and not commercial models for the latest expensive gadgets. Lay people would then start to doubt the sincerity, spirit of poverty, and holiness of their parish priests if they see them owning and using expensive gadgets.

8. He likes fancy cars.

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Craving for fancy cars and SUVs seems to be the common preoccupation of the new generation of priests. Instead of making themselves role of models of practicing the spirit of poverty mentioned in the Beatitudes, they become status symbols of a middle class lifestyle. The diocese must have a strict policy on owing and using luxury vehicles for their priests as this practice is contrary to the simple lifestyle of Jesus.

9. He is worldly in his ways.

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Priests can be sociable beings but not socialites.As pastors and witnesses of the Gospel, they must be aware that there personal actions, tastes, and activities must not be interpreted by the laity as worldly or materialistic. Lay people can easily spot a priest who is spiritual from a worldly one.

10. He is having an affair.

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Although lay people can sympathize with priest’s loneliness and lack of intimacy in parish church, they are also alarmed if they know their priests are having an affair with women or men. Persistent concubinage and other forms of illicit sexual union by priests are forbidden by the Church’s Canon Law. Once a priest engages in concubinage or sexual abuse, he loses gradually his vocation and lives a double life. He loses his credibility and becomes a liability to the Church. The Catholic church paid millions of dollars as damages in courts due to clerical sexual abuse in the US and around the world. The most common challenge faced by many priests today is how to satisfy their need for intimacy without leaving the priesthood.

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6 Top Signs a Guy Isn’t Interested in You Anymore

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1. He Stops Texting or Calling You.

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If your boyfriend stops calling or texting you regularly the way he used to do, then his interest in your relationship has gone cold. A guy who truly loves you will always find ways to contact you no matter how busy he is with his job or work.

2. He Flirts with Other Women In Front Of You

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Flirting with other women in front of you is a sure sign that he has lost interest in you, or he is indeed a playboy who is incapable of bringing you to the altar. Why would he flirt other women if he is really serious in your relationship and intending to marry you in the future.

3. His Body Language Changes Around You

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“When a guy likes you, he might not say so directly, but his body language will. He’ll lean towards you to build intimacy, face his body towards you in group situations, and find reasons to touch your shoulder or arm (like when he makes you laugh)” (Bastion).

If your boyfriend is no longer as sweet and caring as he used to be, then he probably lost his interest in you. It’s a sign that you need to move on and find another suitable partner.

4. He Doesn’t Pay Attention Like He Used To

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Romantic relationships call for intimacy and mutual care on a regular basis. This entails every partner to provide special attention to your loved one. If your boyfriend is no longer giving you the special attention he used to give you when you started the relationship, then it’s a sign that he is no longer interested in you. Watch out for inconsistencies of what he says and what he does. If he says that “I will never, ever love somebody more than I love you” but starts to take you for granted, then it’s time to find another guy until you’ll find your match and get engaged.

5. You Always Have To Text And Call Him First

You will know that your man is no longer interested in you always have to text and call him instead he taking the initiative to contact you. In this case, he maybe busy with other things or maybe having other relationships with other girls. A guy who is truly in love with you would make sure to contact you no matter how busy he is! A change in pattern in your communication is a biggest sign that he is gradually abandoning you!

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6. He Doesn’t Get Jealous If You Mention Seeing Someone

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Jealousy is not always a negative reaction. Being jealous can be just a way to guard the exclusive relationship from intruders. If your boyfriend is jealous when you mention that you’re seeing someone is just a normal reaction, and a precaution for him that you might get tempted to entertain other relationship. Romantic relationship is basically dyad or pair with 2 people falling in love, not triad or any form of polygamous union. So, if your guy is not jealous even if you mentioned positive traits of the person you met, then this can be a sign that he doesn’t care because he loses interest in your relationship.

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Reference

Bastion, N. (n.d.). “The Top 10 Signs a Guy Ins’t Interested in You Anymore”. Retrieved http://www.vixendaily.com/love/top-10-signs-a-guy-isnt-interested-in-you-anymore/

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7 Top Signs Your Husband is Cheating in Your Marriage

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1. He is often angry, critical and even at times cruel.

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One study showed that 70% of those surveyed reported this sign often coupled with emotional and verbal abuse, constant put downs and little to no patience. One woman reported that at the worst point he was more than disrespectful. He was just plain rude, impatient, angry and aggressive. He was constantly picking fights and refused to help out in the home or with our children. He always complain even in trivial things.

2. He becomes emotionally distant, withdrawn or depressed.

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Most of those who had been cheated on reported this type of behavior. The husband becomes became self-absorbed and living as if he was single with his own agenda and plans. He became more and more disinterested in his wife, as well as in his family, friends, and daily needs.

3. He complains that he is being controlled, and yet he is guilty of controlling his wife.

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A husband who often tells his wife that he needs space and don’t want to be bothered can be a sign that his mind is preoccupied with something. Just like any person who is in love, your husband is probably daydreaming about his new crush and may also be thinking how to maintain his extramarital affairs without being discovered by you, his wife.

4. He often comes home late or absent due to work: He increases his working hours, after work meetings, business trips, and out of town trips.

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If the husband often extends his working hours or spends business trips in prolonged period of time which he does not normally do, then he is probably seeing somebody in a romantic interlude.

5. He is paying extra close attention to his appearance.

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A husband who is extra conscious about his looks is a sign that he is falling in love with another woman. If he is buying new clothes, losing weight, extra primping, working out at the gym and other sudden fitness endeavors, then he is making himself adorable to another person and to you, his wife.

6. He becomes inappropriately defensive when asked question about his whereabouts or his changed of appearance and behavior.

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If your husband is not hiding something, he can be spontaneous in his answers to your queries. But if he is cheating, he would always do his best to keep his secret and infidelity. He would always make excuses on why he changed his appearance, behavior, and whereabouts.

7. He becomes overly conscious for his need for ‘privateness’ and staying up late at night to work on the computer.

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If your husband is hiding an extramarital affairs, he would always insist privacy in some things that he is doing at home that is related to his infidelity. If he uses his computer or smart phones, he would always put passwords or open his messages alone. He would easily become irritated if you would intrude into his own private space and see what he is doing with his gadgets.

Concluding Words

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Seeing all or some of these signs in your husband is not a guarantee that your husband is indeed unfaithful. These are just signs that need to be verified. They are only some common indicators that point to infidelity in marriage. Your husband would not normally exhibit a sudden change of behavior and attitude towards you as wife and your children if he is not distracted by an affair with another woman.

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These alerts must, however, be validated by concrete proof or evidence. Hiring a detective to investigate can be an option. As a wife you must first do a scientific research if you notice some of these signs in your husband before jumping into the conclusion that his having an affair with another person. Remember that marriage is a lifetime commitment that needs to be negotiated “til death do us part”. The welfare of your children must be your top priority in case your husband is indeed unfaithful. Think and pray before you decide to divorce him and remember what Christ said:

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Photo Source: 316quotes.com

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Reference

Bercht, A. (n.d. ). “10 Signs of Infidelity.” Retrieved from https://beyondaffairs.com/suspicion-confrontation/signs-of-infidelity/.

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Sure Signs that Women are Falling in Love

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1. Seductive Eye Contact  (She looks at him once in a while, look into his eyes, look at him often, look long, etc.) 

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If the woman continuously looking at a man and not the room or surrounding, it is a sign that she is interested on him. She can also show her special affection for him by occasionally glancing at him, especially if the he is not looking at her. If the man is observant and sensitive enough of this nonverbal sign of attraction, then he can sense that somebody is seducing him through her eye contact.

The eyes are said to be the windows of the soul. The movements of the eyes are loaded with meanings and clues to the internal disposition of the person. One can sense if a person is sad, happy, afraid, or falling in love through his/her eyes. Most surveys on which body part is the sexiest for men and women revealed that the eyes are considered the sexiest of all body parts of both genders. The movements of the eyes of the person can convey romantic and sexual meanings for the other.

2. Seductive Eye contact with other Nonverbal Facial Expressions  (She looks at the man in a seductive way, ogle, wink, smile at, smile in a friendly way, smile sweetly at, etc. )

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Showing seductive eyes implies that the woman is interested to a particular man. The eyes is the most expressive body part that provides a crucial clue whether the woman has a special interest to the opposite sex. A woman who likes a particular person usually look, ogle, or wink with a sweet smile to him. A seductive glance with a smile or other facial expression is different with an ordinary disinterested look. An observant and sensitive guy can tell whether a woman has a special concern for him or not by just observing a woman’s seductive look and facial expression.

3. Moving Closer to the Guy:

(She stands or sits closer to him, walk by, stay near him, etc.)

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Physical distance has a social meaning in relationship. Distance between two people implies the degree of intimacy. If a woman is to far from the man, it implies an absence or lack of connection or intimacy between. But if a woman is moving closer to a man  by approaching, standing or sitting near him, it implies that she wants to know more about him and to have some intimacy with him.

4. Approaching  and Starting to Talk to the Man:

(She walks to him and begin a speech, go next to him in bar or coffee shop and say something, etc. )

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Some aggressive women do not only go near to the persons that attract them but also try to make initial and indirect verbal moves to connect with them. They sometimes walk to them or go next to them in a bar or coffee shop and start conversing with them informally. Their aura is usually friendly and their interest is shown in the sweet smiles on their faces.

5. Talking to Guy about Issues of General Interest:

(She makes a joke, begins a conversation, saying something witty to him, asking a question, making a remark, etc.)

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To get the attention of the guy, the interested woman would sometimes approach him and start a light conversation, say something witty, ask a question, or make a remark, especially if the initial encounter was already established. This is an indirect way of inviting her man to a romantic relationship. It all depends on the guy whether he too is interested and would accept these initial moves of wooing.

6. Talking Directly to the Guy:

(She makes a compliment, says she likes him, offers him a drink, says directly what she thinks of him, invites him to dance, etc. )

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If some women want to ensure that their seductions and nonverbal signs of interest are noticed, they usually approach their targets directly and say something nice about them, offer some drinks, or invite them to a dance.

7. Talking Indirectly to the Guy, Apparently in a  Functional Way:

(She asks what time it is, ask for a light, ask for a coin for the telephone, ask for a cigarette, etc.)

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To get the attention of the men they are interested with, some women would approach their targets and ask them in a functional way for some things to be noticed. They would, for instance, ask the women about the time of the day, ask for a light or help in some mobile phone problems, a cigarette, etc.

8. Approaching the Guy through a Third Person:

(She approaches him through a friend, she walks by and talks to another person, etc.)

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Women would sometimes use a “go-between” or a common friend just to get in touch with their targets. A woman, for instance, would ask a friend in a gathering about the next guy on the table, etc. She can make a whisper to her friend and look seductively on the guy.

9. Paying Special Attention to Him:

(She listens to him with amusement, she’s attentive, asks interested questions, be nice, pay attention to him, etc. )

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A woman signals her interest to a guy by being extra interested with what he is doing. She asks questions in a nice on his latest project, hobby, sport, etc. She also follows him in the social media or anything he is active online.

10. Showing Her Interest by Touching:

(She touches herself a lot, touches her man, allows him to touch her)

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A man can sense if a woman is interested on him by looking at the body language of the woman. A woman can use her power of touch to seduce her man. And there are 3 types of female seduction by by touching. First, she touches herself a lot. When in front of her man, a woman in love invites him by touching herself a lot while she glances at him in a seductive way. Second, she can show her special interest on him by touching him in a friendly way such as touching his shoulder, hand, or back. Lastly, she express her desire for him by allowing the man to touch her.

11. Showing Some of Her Physical Features:

(She shows her sexy body or any body part to her crush)

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Showing some sexy body parts is another strategy of women who fall in love with their men. This is a more direct nonverbal sign to invite men to approach and make connection with the seducing females. This can be a effective strategy since men, in general, can easily be attracted physically to women.

Photo credit for all pictures: Pexels.com free photos

References

De Weerth, C. & Kalma, A. (1995). Gender Differences in Awareness of Courtship Initiation Tactics. Sex Roles. Vol. 32, Nos. 11/12, 1995.

________”Spot the Signs to Know that a Woman is Seducing You”Men’s Corner Magazine. Retrieved from http://www.ayushveda.com/mens-magazine/spot-the-signs-to-know-a-woman-is-seducing-you/.

Top Signs of Lying in Text Messaging!

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Introduction

With the advent of digital and mobile phone technologies, text messaging, or texting, has become a prevalent mode of communication and conversation today. Consequently it is also a frequent source of deception or lies in communication. Many current studies suggest that people tend to lie more in text messages than in face-to-face or personal interaction.

In a romantic or marital relationship, one partner can easily lie in text messages than in personal conversation. With the mediation of the screen of the smartphone or tablet, one partner cannot observe the demeanor and body language of the other while texting, thus the other can easily hide his/her secrets through deceptive techniques in mobile phone messaging!

Unlike the face-to-face communication, electronic messaging takes away the impression management of people in verbal communication due to lack of appearance, sense experience, as well as avowals or involuntary reactions which are very important to catch persons lying. Thus, the only opportunity for a partner to check the veracity or truthfulness of a text message in electronic and digital technologies is by textual analysis of the message’s content, as well as observing the manner, time, or speed of its transmission.

Although research studies on deceptive messaging in mobile phones are inconsistent, the following 12 strategies are considered common signs of lying in text messaging:

1. Your Partner Takes a Longer Time to Respond to Your Query

Delayed response to your text asking your partner why he or she was late implies that he or she is still thinking for an appropriate answer to hide his/her lies. An honest person will immediately respond to a query without delay because s/he is not hiding something. But a liar will buy time to craft or invent a response to hide the truth. Of course, this cannot be absolutized since it is probable that s/he is busy with something else worth doing while you texted on why s/he was late. Lying is particularly obvious if you and partner are continuously texting, and suddenly the s/he failed to respond immediately to an important query.

2. Your Partner Provides a Complicated Answer to a Simple Question

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Liars use more words to be more persuasive and to appear credible! If your partner texted you a long sentence or answer or maybe a paragraph to your simple question on why s/he was late can imply that s/he is lying. An honest person can answer a simple question briefly and directly without adding unnecessary details. An unnecessary explanation would mean that s/he is trying to convince the other that s/he not hiding anything–that even the details are included in the text! But the inquiring partner can sense this if there are inconsistencies in the messages. S/he would wonder why some unnecessary details are included. This situation can trigger suspicion and further queries from the partner inquiring. The query in the example below can be answered by a short phrase or a mere “yes” or “no”, but the response elaborates further:

Example:

Partner 1: “Did you go to the movies without me?”

Partner 2: “No, I didn’t leave my house yesterday. I was cleaning all day!”

Researchers on lying in texting believe a false sentence is usually longer than a true one. When people tell lies, their sentences became one word longer on average.

Women tended to use more words when they were lying. Truthful texts were about eight words long, whereas texts containing lies were about nine. they also tended to be more self-oriented, using words like “I” and “my”. Men’s text messages were about seven words long on average, longer than this would imply lying.

3. Your Partner is Changing the Topic

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A lying partner would try to change the topic in the text if s/he feels that his/her lies can be discovered. Obviously, liars will always avoid topics that would place them in the hot seat. Thus, as much as possible, they would always try to change the topic to stay away from danger. But if the inquiring partner is not observant enough, s/he would surely be deceived by the other’s delaying tactic!

4. Your Partner Uses Noncommittal Phrases in the Text Message


Liars usually play safe in their text messages by using noncommittal phrases such as “probably” “possibly” or “sure’ to answer a query. They use vague words in their text messages to hide the truth. Some examples of this type of noncommittal phrases are the following:

“It must have been around midnight when…”
“Maybe it was because…”
“I probably got home around two.”
“I’m not sure if…”
“It seemed kind of like…”
“I will try to.”
“Let me see…”
Studies showed that by gender both men and women used non-committal phrases when trying to hide something in their text messages.

5. Your Partner Suddenly Asked to Leave or to be Excused

car-car-interior-cellphone-804128Another sign that your partner is when s/he asks to leave immediately or be excused before s/he answers your important query. S/he would usually find excuses in order not to be forced to answer a question that will catch hi/her lying. This sign is particularly true if s/he was caught lying in the previous message and suddenly asked to be excused.

6. Your Partner is Finger Pointing instead of Answering the Question Directly

In this case, your partner is trying to avoid accountability by shifting the blame on you. S/he would ask a questions instead of answering directly the query in order to place your in a defensive position. As a result, the liar holds control over the situation and would able to escape accountability.

7. Your Partner Avoids Using the First Person “I” in His/Her Text Message

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Another sign of lying in texting is avoiding the first person “I” when explaining something from a query of one’s partner. Liars usually use the third person to dissociate themselves from lies in their text messages. The use of the third person “they” is a way of avoiding accountability to the lie in the text message.

8. Your Partner is Trying to Sweet Talk After a Reply

adult-beautiful-beauty-915051When a partner tries to sweet talk after a reply can be a sign that s/he is hiding something. The sweet talk is a form of distraction in order that the other would think that the reply to the query is honest. So, if your partner would text you following a reply to your query that says “how beautiful you are or how much s/he misses you”, then start thinking that s/he is lying or hiding something. Your partner is probably trying to distract you in order that you would not “cross-examine” him/her on a reply which you suspect as a lie.

9. Your Partner is Complaining of a Problem Instead of Answering the Query

Complaining suddenly of something, especially about his/her health, in order not to answer a query is a sign of lying. In this case, your partner is just making excuses in order to avoid answering the question or a situation that would force him/her to tell the truth. The answer to the text above is actually a way to distract the inquiring partner and to avoid accountability.

10. Your Partner is Hopping from the Present Tense to the Past Tense in the Text Messages.

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If your partner is inconsistent in the use of tense in his/her message, hopping from the past tense to the present tense or vice-versa, then there is a strong probability that s/he is lying. It could mean that your partner is trying to invent a story in his head and ends up ignoring the proper use of grammar when he try to explain a situation resulting in making mistakes, confusing his present thoughts with what happened in the past .

11. Your Partner Sends Well-Crafted Text Messages
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If you’re used to receiving text messages with incorrect or broken grammar with emojis from your partner and suddenly receives well-crafted messages to your query, then most probably your partner is hiding something or lying. Try to observe the style of his/her texting, including the choice of words and grammar. If s/he suddenly sends you well-composed answers or paragraphs, different from his/her normal way of writing text messages, then it is highly probable that your partner is lying.

12. Your Partner is Typing the Text Too long

If your partner is typing too long for his/her response implies that s/he is inventing a lie or editing the response in order to hide the truth. An honest person can immediately answer to a query without much editing of the text. This long period of typing indicates that your partner is still constructing the lie, trying to figure out how to avoid the trap.

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Phote Credit: Pexels.com, Brightside

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References
Anolli, L. & Ciceri, R. (1997). The voice of deception: vocal strategies of naive and able liars. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 21, 259-284.

Smith, M. et al. (2014). Everyday Deception or a few prolific liars? the prevalence of lies in text messaging. Computers in Human Behavior 41 (2014) 220-227.

__________. “Top 10 Effective Tips on How to Tell If Someone Is Lying over Text”. Retrieved from https://www.enkirelations.com/how-to-tell-if-someone-is-lying-over-text.html.

_________.”How to Know if Someone is Lying in a Text”. Retrieved from https://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-Someone-Is-Lying-in-a-Text

_________”11 Types of Texting Behavior That Show a Person Is Lying to You”. Retrieved from https://brightside.me/inspiration-psychology/11-types-of-texting-behavior-that-show-a-person-is-lying-to-you-408460/.