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Do you agree that when a partner, whether a spouse or a romantic partner, is giving you a long pause or “killing the time” by repeating the question or asking clarificatory questions before he or she answers a serious query that examines his or her fidelity to the relationship, lying?
For instance, you will ask your girlfriend: “Who was the person you were talking to privately as I passed by in your office yesterday?” And then she starts to give a long pause with a facial expression such as this. Don’t you think she is lying?
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Lying destroys trust and eventually a social relationship. It’s really painful to see your romantic or marital relationship going down the drain after you have invested much time, emotion, and resources just to build it only to be destroyed by a single lie or act of dishonesty by our partner!
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It is important therefore to immediately assess whether your partner is telling lies about your relationship. it’s important to nip a problem in the bud. You should not allow the relationship to deteriorate further because of your inability to spot lies and dishonesty. Relationships can be salvaged if we know at an early stage what’s wrong about it. So knowing some clues of lying can be helpful to understand your partner’s state of mind and his or fidelity to the relationship.
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You cannot rely totally on the words of your partner. Words can be manipulated or manufactured, but not the body language. So watch his or her body language, actuation, demeanor, while your are talking with him or her on serious matters that affect the status of your relationship.
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1. Your Partner Instinctively Cover Vulnerable body Parts
Instinctively covering vulnerable parts such as the throat, chest, head, or abdomen when asked a question can also be a sign that your partner is caught off-guarded and thus a sign that he or she is hiding something. It indicates his or her vulnerability because he or she is keeping something in the mind.
2. Your Partner is Shuffling His or Her Feet
Shuffling one’s feet during a serious conversation can indicate that the person is uneasy and nervous of something and thus hides something negative. It can also indicate that she or he wants to leave the situation or want to walk away. One way to detect whether your partner is lying is to observe the movement of his or her feet. His or her body would show if he or she is comfortable with the truth or nervous because he or she is hiding something on the status of your relationship.
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3. Your Partner is Staring Without Blinking Much or Do Too Much Blinking
People who lie usually break their eye contract with others. But it is also possible that they go the extra mile to maintain eye contact in attempt to control and manipulate others.
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Unusual staring without blinking at regular intervals by your partner can indicate lying. Honest people will occasionally shift their eyes around and may even look away from time to time when explaining something. Liars, on the other hand, will use a cold, steady gaze to intimidate and control others. But a partner should watch out for rapid blinking which can also indicate that your romantic mate or spouse is lying.
4. Your Partner is Pointing a Lot
When a liar becomes hostile or defensive, s/he is attempting to turn the tables on the other person. The lying partner can get hostile during the conversation if the other has discovered his/her lies, which may result in a lot of pointing. In this case, the partner has already blown his/her chance to be trusted in the relationship.
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5. Your Partner is Rubbing or Touching the Nose
When your partner touches or rubs his/her nose before answering a direct question, you must be alert of lying. Rubbing or touching one’s nose in an interrogation is generally considered a sign that the person is hiding something. He or she is buying time to think about an answer. If he or she is honest, a question can immediately be answered without spending much time.
Final Reminder: Differentiate Lying from Falsehood
As a partner, you must distinguish lying from falsehood. Basically, lying is giving a wrong information to the person or group who has the right to know the truth, while falsehood is giving a wrong or untruthful information to a stranger or to a person or group who has no right to know truth. Falsehood involves personal information which has nothing to do with the relationship, it’s part of the person’s privacy and personal security.
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