Above us all the stars are watchin’
There’s no place I’d rather be in this world
Your eyes are where I’m lost in
Underneath the chandelier
We’re dancin’ all alone
There’s no reason to hide
What we’re feelin’ inside
And close the door
Ooh I love that dress
But you won’t need it anymore
No you won’t need it no more
Let’s just kiss ’til we’re naked, baby
Ooh take it off for me, for me, for me, for me now, girl
Versace on the floor
Ooh take it off for me, for me, for me, for me now, girl, mmm
While I kiss your neck and shoulders
No don’t be afraid to show it all
I’ll be right here ready to hold you
Confluent love is the most popular type of union in today’s globalizing world that is characterized by flows, flexibility, and “liquidity” of information and migration of people around the globe. The current postmodern society prefers anything contingent or passing, or relationships without lasting or long-term commitment. Confluent love flourishes in this type of environment. It is, therefore, unsurprising to see divorce, annulment, and legal separation, cohabitation, and marital infidelity increasing in today’s global society.
Unlike romantic love, confluent love has no commitment to last until death or to enter into marriage. It is passing and it is good while it lasts for partners.
Confluent love is a type of romantic relationship which is attuned to the present postmodern times. In his book, “The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love and Eroticism in Modern Societies,” the British sociologist Anthony Giddens (1992) describes confluent love as a type of love which is based on pure relationship. And pure relationship is a “social relation…entered into for its own sake; and which is continued only in so far as it is thought by both parties to deliver enough satisfaction for each individual to stay within it” (Cornville & Rogers, 1998, p. 97).
‘Unlike romantic love, confluent love is not necessarily exclusive. What holds the pure relationship together is the acceptance on the part of each partner, ‘until further notice’, that each gains sufficient benefit from the relation to make its continuance worthwhile (Giddens, 2011). Romantic love is a type of relationship which is often viewed as ‘forever after’ monogamous love. This type of love prepares people for the lifelong commitment of marital love after courtship and engagement.
Confluent love is different from romantic or marital love. In consensual love, the partners agree to have sexual relations with others whom they have no intention of marrying or, if they marry, do not necessarily see the marriage as having permanence (Kendal, 2014). The essence of confluent love is its contingency. It is not a “till-death-do-us-part” kind of relationship. It lasts as long as the lovers find the relationship mutually fulfilling. Thus, a one-night stand, a regular orgy of couples, or a temporary live-in arrangement or cohabitation with no intention of marrying, are some expressions of confluent love.